


Summer Homesickness

by kaiaced



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Humor, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Manga & Anime, Reader-Insert, Realistic, Romance, Roommates, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24388681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiaced/pseuds/kaiaced
Summary: [college au! kuroo tetsurou x reader] Two struggling freshmen college students find peace in each others' presence in their cheap small-scale apartment unit amid the stressful hustle and bustle of university life.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This story contains scenes involving the usage of vices and conversations about sexual themes that some readers may find distressing. However, these conversations about sexual themes are not explicit in any way. This story is also not affiliated with any of the universities mentioned.

**_May_ _2019_ **

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Friday** _

" _Fuck,_ " Kuroo grunted, his right hand gripping on his left wrist as he rushed towards the sink. "Fucking _idiot!_ " He hissed under his breath while opening the faucet, the ice-cold water hitting his burnt skin making him flinch in pain. Tears pricked his eyes and he tried his hardest not to let them fall but as soon as his sight trailed to the dining table full of papers and highlighters, the salty liquid began streaming down his cheeks. 

Hiccups uncontrollably escaped even if he pursed his lips shut. It was only the second month of being in college and yet he already accumulated an approximate amount of 17 breakdowns in 54 days. Although this one is the worst one that he is experiencing so far, he cannot believe his tipping point to breakdown is the instant ramen on the floor.

His eyes continued to stare at the rushing water kissing his skin until a click on the door distracted him from his thoughts. Kuroo wiped his cheeks and nose with the back of his dry right hand and returned it to his left wrist. The door swung open, revealing you with the room key on your hand. Your exhale was hitched when you saw the noodles and the saucepan on the floor.

"I'm guessing we're having noodles again tonight," you spoke rather jokingly as you removed your jacket. Kuroo clicks his tongue, returning his gaze on the palm of his hand and he could feel the tears pricking his eyes again, "I'll clean it up," he muttered. He didn't need his roommate making fun of his idiocy right now, he didn't need to feel more embarrassed as he is. Kuroo chewed on his bottom lip for his hiccups not to escape, his eyes continuing to stare at the running water.

You took a large step to avoid the puddle and grabbed the now cool handle of the saucepan on the floor, you stood behind Kuroo which caught him off guard. You placed the saucepan on the sink then gently took Kuroo's left wrist and placed it to the side where the water isn't hitting his skin. Kuroo's widened eyes continued to gaze on your smaller figure situated on his left. You placed your right hand under the running water and your left hand on the knobs of the faucet as you began to adjust the warmth and coldness of the water to your satisfaction. You then took his left wrist again and slowly placed it under the now cool rushing water.

"You do know that you shouldn't treat burns under ice-cold water. That could leave a nasty scar, Kuroo," you said in a flat tone. Kuroo's eyes widened slightly at the realization that he was just corrected for doing a wrong first-aid on his burn. He was corrected when _he_ was the one who should know this by heart, especially since he's taking a _pre-medical_ undergraduate course in one of the most prestigious universities in Japan.

Kuroo sniffed as you left his side, slightly embarrassed at being corrected upon, and his gaze followed your figure to his right side. You tiptoed to reach the clear storage box at the top of the refrigerator. He watched your fingertips press to the sides, trying to let the box move closer to your reach. "God damn it," you muttered under your breath as you took the box by its sides, placing it onto the kitchen counter. He watched you with teary eyes as you rummaged through the box, "Are you allergic to ibuprofen?" You asked him which stunned him for a second, "Well?" You asked again, looking at him. His brows lowered and he shook his head. You gave an assuring nod and opened the cupboard from above your head, taking a glass and filling it with filtered water. You popped open a painkiller from the container and faced Kuroo who was confused with your actions. "Open your mouth," you said, Kuroo's brows furrowed at your demands but he opened his mouth anyway. You popped the pill into his mouth and placed the water-filled glass on the kitchen counter then you left his side and went to the closet near your futons. 

"You can remove your hand from the water now," you said, taking out some clean nightclothes for yourself. You waltzed towards the bathroom as if nothing happened. Kuroo, who was still standing there, stunned, stared at the closed bathroom door for a minute before realizing what you just said. He blinked in realization before turning the knob off, shaking his hand to remove the excess water on the sink. His tongue rolled to feel the bitter pill resting on top of the muscle as he glanced down at the kitchen counter and took the glass of water that you readied for him. As he was swallowing down the pill, he took the back of his damp left hand and wiped his tear-stained cheeks. Kuroo placed the glass on the sink before turning around and revisiting the mess on the floor that he caused moments ago. He bit his bottom lip in hopes to suck up the tears and took a deep breath before grabbing the twisted rag by the sink and kneeled to the clutter. 

As he was gathering the soup into the middle, he lightly rested his still throbbing left hand on the top of his thigh, his eyes staring blankly at the noodles, forcing his brain to forget about the reason why he broke down. His brain didn't want to cooperate though, pushing the stressful memory into the front of Kuroo's mind, the sight of the pile of papers on the dining table didn't help him at all too. He let out a shaky breath but was soon cut off when he heard the door behind him click. He refused to look back at you, trying to sort out the mess quickly to avoid being such an inconvenience to you.

"How can you work on that with just one hand? You're phenomenal," you commented and he was trying his best not to click his tongue in annoyance since he knew you meant well. "Come on, you lanky boy, stand up," you spoke as you patted Kuroo's back. Kuroo let out a short, "Huh?" and sat on his heels, making eye contact with you who was crouching on his left side. "Get up," you asserted which took him aback, making him stand up unconsciously, rag still in hand. You snatched the rag from him and unraveled it, placing it atop of the already gathered noodles and collected it on the dirty cloth. 

Kuroo could only watch you dumbfounded, everything in his mind was such a mess, all he could remember and feel was his breakdown minutes ago and the now calming burn on his left hand. He doesn't realize what is going on in front of him with his roommate. 

You lifted one knee, followed by another before standing up and balancing the collected noodles in hand, "Kuroo, move," you said, your eyes trained on the litter in your hands before Kuroo took a step backward to make room for you. You walked towards the garbage bin and threw the pile into the trash bag. 

"Look at you standing there looking all startled," you spoke followed by a chuckle. Kuroo still doesn't know what to react to this chain of events.

"Just go to the table already and finish what you have to finish. I got this."

Kuroo was about to refuse, wanting to help in cleaning up his mess until you continued with, "I mean it, Kuroo. Let me handle this." 

Kuroo cannot turn down the offer at this point, so he took a step to not walk over the puddle and sat down on the chair, being faced with a ton of reading materials and his yellow and blue highlighters. He didn't know where to start, he was already feeling overwhelmed with the work that this subject is being placed upon their shoulders. He could feel his chest starting to feel heavy again and his breathing hard to control, he wishes he was the one cleaning up his mess instead to avoid his problems.

"Oh yeah, I have petroleum jelly in the drawer behind you, apply a thin layer on your burn. That might help relieve the pain."

Kuroo snapped out of his loud thoughts and looked at you who was mopping the puddle dry. He gave you a short nod before turning behind and opening the said drawer with his right hand and took the jar of petroleum jelly. Kuroo followed your instructions and was almost grateful that he is doing something instead of reading the schoolwork right in front of him. He isn't sure how long he was rubbing the burn lightly but he knows he is taking his time, and when he sees you approaching the dining table from washing your hands after mopping the floor, he closed the jar and focused on the work in front of him. He heaved a deep breath before organizing the papers into the order where he would read it first. 

You slid the chair beside him with your bag on the floor and sat down on the chair. You rummaged through your bag and Kuroo was trying to look put together by flipping through the page of his first reading material, going back to where he left off. Ultimately, it failed, for his eyes traveled to the window only inches away from them and stared at the lights from the other houses across them. You placed your laptop and notebook on the table and began to power the device on, you would shoot a glance at Kuroo to see if the sounds you were making would drag Kuroo back to reality but even as though you began noisily typing on a document, Kuroo is still staring at the view in front of you.

You glanced at him once again before turning to your laptop, "Is the ibuprofen working?" You asked him which caught his attention, albeit a bit puzzled, "Huh?" He responded. You repeated the question and he nodded, "It feels a bit better now," he replied before turning his gaze to the reading materials and the window. "When the blister breaks, wash it with the mild soap in the bathroom and apply some ointment on it on our first aid kit. There's also some bandage in the kit, you can cover it up but not too tight," you instructed, your eyes trained on the words on the screen. He gave a short nod in reply before looking at the paper in front of him for the umpteenth time. 

Kuroo knows all too well that he should get started with reading since he might be spending most of his weekend on volleyball practice just to get better at playing and proving that he could be at the starting players of the official team of the university. Then it struck to him that not only does he has the academic load but he also needs to be proving his worth on the team that he is in. His brows furrowed in worry as his mind began to trail on the possibilities of the quiz on Monday and if he doesn't read and take every detail of the reading material he will be _so_ fried on the subject.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You suddenly spoke, your eyes looking up at him with your head hung low on your laptop screen. Kuroo hesitated for a second before shaking his head. He doesn't want you to know that your roommate is a loser whose tipping point was the ramen on the floor, after having a stressful day in school and spending most of his time trying to figure out the lab experiments with their professors gave to them. The week hasn't been too easy on him, from his almost failed mark on his previous quiz on a general education subject last Monday and his attempt to finish the laboratory experiments on his major subjects. "Hey, I just want to tell you that I appreciate you cooking two packs of noodles. That's very thoughtful, thank you," you softly said in hopes that he wouldn't feel so guilty about what just happened. Kuroo nodded at your words before the anxious thoughts are back in his head, filling him with doubt.

He almost let out a scoff and took the papers in his right hand and his left fingers on his temple, his brows furrowed in an attempt to stay focused. You could still feel the uneasiness around Kuroo's aura and you know it isn't your job to try and calm him down but there's nothing more disturbing than having a roommate who is distracted in every point in his life. Plus, you know that Kuroo is some student-athlete in addition to being a pre-med student. It wouldn't hurt you if you would try to lift his spirits.

"You know, Kuroo," you spoke and Kuroo glanced up at you expectantly, his black tresses sometimes blocking his vision. "When I was young, I saw my playmate's brother jacking off in his room," you continued, your eyes never leaving the laptop screen. Kuroo widened his eyes at your sudden words before pulling an uncontrollable grin in his face, he turned back to his reading material before letting out a soft chortle and replied, "Jesus fucking Christ, [Name]." His left elbow resting atop of the table and resting his head on his wrist, careful not to touch the burn. "I'm trying to study," he said with a large grin etched on his face. "Obviously," you said with a sly smile on your face.

Kuroo sat upright and looked at you, "W-Wha– W-Where did you even get that train of thought," he stammered, an unbelievable look painted across his face. "I'm reading and writing an essay about the sex industry," you replied nonchalantly, Kuroo shifted forward in his seat and peered at you, "What about it?" He asked you, to which you rolled your eyes at, "Kuroo, stop lying and acting like you're interested in the sex industry. Just tell me you want to hear the story about how I saw my playmate's brother beating his meat," you said with a small smile, glancing up at Kuroo who is now leaning on his chair, his deep chuckle resonating the room. "Alright, you got me there," he said with a shit-eating grin across his face.

You look at him with a smirk and lean forward on the table, both of your elbows atop and your fingers clasped together. "So my playmate and I were playing hide and seek in her house and their house was _pretty_ huge so I have to thoroughly search, right?" Kuroo nodded at your words, waiting for the story to progress, "And I was counting down in her room while she stayed hidden on some part of the house. When I finished counting, I got out of the room and just across her room is her brother's so of course, as the meticulous [Name] that I was, I swung open the door to his room and _lo and behold_ he was beating his meat just a few feet away from me. I shut the door immediately and ran downstairs to look for her. And by God, I was lucky that her brother didn't spot me, or else I would be more than embarrassed. Fucking hell," you finished, shaking your head in embarrassment, a smile on your face. Kuroo chuckled and shook his head, his left arm folded across his chest while his right elbow on top of his left forearm, his right hand on his head as he laughed. "That must be fucking traumatizing," he said, feeling the secondhand embarrassment seep through him.

"Kuroo, it fucking is," you said before sitting up and propping your right leg over the other. Kuroo looked at the window with a soft smile on his lips, staring longingly at the sight in front of him. You knew that you just removed a bit of weight off his shoulders. Then your eyes trailed to his reading material and realized that it looked familiar.

"Hey..." You spoke, your hands reaching to the papers. Kuroo looks at you as you took the papers, "Do you want me to explain this to you? We already finished the quiz for this one."

Kuroo's eyes lit up at your words then remembered something, "Oh yeah! This is your course, right?" He asked you and you nodded as you flipped through the pages, "Yeah, this subject is my major subject too. This is Fred Pampel's take on Karl Marx. About all that capitalism and alienation stuff. We just took this quiz last Monday. So basically, we're ahead of you guys on one topic," you spoke, pausing on a few pages before flipping through them. Kuroo blinked before rummaging through the pile of paper on his side and grabbed his printed syllabus, he flipped through the first one and scanned the content, "So you guys are on _Weber_ now? Max Weber and the _spread of rationality_?" He asked.

"Kuroo, it's pronounced as _Vey-Ber_ , but yeah. We might have a quiz on Monday about him," you said and pushed your laptop to the side. Kuroo looked at you, puzzled, as you scooted towards him, "Alright, so–" 

"Don't you have an essay about the sex industry that you're supposed to finish?" He cut you off, you raised a brow at him before glancing at your laptop and to the paper in your hands, "I could do it tomorrow while I'm on my shift. Do you want me to help you out or not?" You asked him and he widened his eyes and grinned at you before nodding eagerly. “I didn’t know you were always this kind, [Name],” Kuroo teased, a bit relieved now compared to the heavy feeling he was carrying earlier.

“Shut up if you want to hear about this damn reading material.”


	2. two

**_Saturday_ **

Sunlight filtered through the cream-colored curtains, the warmth seeping through Kuroo's thinly clad back. The black-haired boy pulled his pillow closer to him, all of his senses are heightened despite being half-asleep. He could feel his phone underneath his pillow continuously vibrating for the past 20 minutes in 5-minute gaps. He is also well aware that there is a large chance of being late for practice today but he couldn't be bothered with opening his eyes for starters. He buried his face closer to the pillow and let out a soft sigh of satisfaction. He felt calm and cozy compared to the overwhelming stress he experienced the night before. The warmth from the glass sliding door that was touching his skin also adding up to his feeling of nostalgia, back to the day where he had finally moved into the apartment. 

During the last week of March, Kuroo had moved into the apartment, he was lucky enough to actually find a spare apartment to rent since only a week later was when college officially started. Students have already been occupying the apartment units of Hongō ever since the end of the graduation season. It seemed almost impossible to find an apartment to rent by the last week of March but Kuroo was fortunate enough to find an apartment that is cheap and was willing to take him in. Although the unit's space is a bit cramped and it seemed old, he wasn't complaining at all since the rent fits his student-athlete budget and the location is very convenient for him. The space isn't ideal for two people to live in, but Kuroo didn't mind because at least he wouldn't have to shoulder all the burdens of the unit's expenses by having someone to live with.

You settled in weeks before Kuroo arrived, and even decided to start working at the bookstore of the apartment on the ground floor. For the first few weeks of university life, the two of you didn't really interact a lot with each other. You would only have a conversation when needed, such as if the owner was out or if the other would wash their clothes on Sunday. Talking to each other seemed unnecessary for both of you even though your futons are only half a feet away from each other and your room limits your privacy. The two of you only know your names, have both your numbers on your phone in case of an emergency, and that you both go to the University of Tokyo.

However, when Kuroo came home from a rigorous training session at their volleyball club, he met you studying on the dining table while you were playing his favorite artist on your speaker. Kuroo's eyes lit up and he dropped his bag on the floor carelessly, not even bothering to shut the door behind him and rushed towards you, sitting on the spare chair. You were startled by the sudden harsh movements and enthusiasm of your roommate and stared at him with widened eyes. Kuroo peered into your face with a determined look before asking you with gleaming eyes, "You listen to Frank Ocean?"

You took a second to reply since you weren't able to process the whole scenario in your head yet, but when you were finally able to swallow the chain of events, you replied with a "Yes." 

Kuroo then let out a loud excited gasp followed by a chuckle and gushed, "He's my favorite artist like _ever_!"

Your eyes widened at the revelation, "No way," you gasped and he eagerly nodded in response, both of his palms resting on top of the wooden table. "He's one of my favorite artists too!" You exclaimed, uncontrollably grinning. The two of you began to let out wild excited noises and began high-fiving each other with both hands. When the two of you finally came to your senses, you began talking for hours about your favorite songs out of the artist and your opinions about his albums. You then accelerated to talking about your other favorite artists and groups and even shared songs. 

After your heightened emotions, Kuroo looked at you then to your reading materials, "So what course do you take?" Kuroo asked you, leaning back to his chair, calming his exhilarated heart from all the fanboying. "I'm in Sociology. Study of society," you replied as if you have memorized the phrase to tell new acquaintances. "How about you?" You asked him, "Biological sciences," he replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, pre-med student huh?"

Then your conversation focused on the surface of both your lives, getting to know each other a little bit better.

You found out that your roommate is one of the few players that got into the Volleyball team while Kuroo found out that despite already having a job, you were also a member of the Photography Culture Association circle and even the Peer Support Room in the university.

Because of a single artist, you went from merely roommates to fellow fans of the same artist, acquaintances, and now would consider each other as friends.

After your little encounter, you became a little closer each day. Kuroo took the initiative of taking over cooking after finding out that you could barely cook while the latter would be more focused on keeping the apartment tidy. 

Kuroo inhaled a deep breath as he reminisced on how the two became friends and opted to snuggle closer towards his pillow until his phone began to ring a very familiar sound when there is an incoming call. Kuroo groaned through his pillow and pressed it harder to his ears to drown out the irritating sound. When the ringing persisted, his hands loosened their grip on the pillow and he rolled over, lying supine on the futon. Both of his hands sitting on top of his stomach as he stared at the wooden ceiling. He blinked twice before raising his left hand to his sight, eyeing the bandaged hand.

He considered the blistering of the burn last night as 'convenient' because he had you to help him in his first-aid, plus, it would be troublesome for him if the blister broke during volleyball practice. He recalled what happened last night and he could remember the overwhelming feeling of stress and anxiety rushing through his mind. He even felt the same sensation of burning in his hand and his embarrassment when you witnessed him having a mental breakdown. He sighed and rolled to his side, the ringing on his phone finally stopping. His eyes trailed to the disorganized apartment unit, his reading materials are still on the table and the dishes piled on the sink.

The two of you were so busy last night over the reading material on Karl Marx that when you two decided to call the night off, both of you headed straight to bed without even tidying up the apartment. Kuroo sat upright, yawning, and rubbing the back of his head. He glanced towards the glass sliding door and took in the faint colors of the plants on the balcony. He continued to stare at the shadows until a familiar ringing resonated the room once again. He grabbed the phone from under his pillow and began to stand up. 

"Hello?" He said as he answered the call, looking around the apartment. 

_"Kuroo! Where the **fuck** are you!" _The voice yelled through the line making Kuroo pull his phone away from his ear, he inserted a finger in his ear before placing back his phone. "Do you want the lie or the truth?" Kuroo groggily said, heading towards the dining table to arrange his reading materials with one hand. _"The truth, of course!"_ Yaku Morisuke exclaimed, exasperation evident in his voice. Kuroo pressed his phone between his shoulder and ear as he returned the papers to his bag, "I just got out of bed," Kuroo replied.

_"W-Wha– We were supposed to meet at the train station 10 minutes ago!"_ Yaku cried and Kuroo couldn't be bothered with his complaints since he was still muddled from his sleep. _"We are going to your dorm in 15 minutes and if you aren't ready by then, prepare your damn ass!"_ Yaku continued before hanging up. Kuroo glanced at his phone confusedly before placing it on top of the dining table. He then decided to wash the dishes piled on the sink, a little act where he thinks it could return his favor to you since you did help him loosen up last night.

As soon as he finished, he proceeded to fold his futon and freshen up for volleyball practice. While he was packing his essentials in his gym bag, the front door swung open. He whipped his head towards the door, seeing you with a lollipop in between your lips. "Kuroo, your friends are waiting for you downstairs," you said, hand still on the doorknob. "Yeah, tell them I'll be down in a minute. Thanks," he mumbled under his breath, still seemingly hungover from last night. You were about to swing the door closed until you remembered something, "Oh yeah."

He faced you again, "This one cute guy told me to tell you 'Fuck you'."

He raised a brow at your words, "By cute guy do you mean annoying?" He asked, tousling his hair. You nodded, "Yeah. Every time he's here he keeps on pestering me over dumb shit." Kuroo snickered at the statement. "Did you pack some painkillers?" You asked him, he raised the container of painkillers to your sight and you nodded before shutting the door closed. 

When Kuroo finished packing up, he trotted downstairs with his bag slung on his shoulder and passed by the usual bookshelves before meeting at the store counter where you were situated with your laptop on the side. The scent of old and new books filled the air and it's the one thing that Kuroo doesn't get tired of. "Finally!" Yaku exclaimed from the door, Kuroo made eye-contact with him before turning to you, your eyes are focused on your laptop screen. "You doing the essay now?" He asked you and you mumbled a 'huh' before looking up at him and nodding, "Yeah. I'm also going to read our next reading material for Monday's quiz," you said, your eyes glancing at the screen and then to Kuroo's hand, "How's your hand doing?" You asked him, Kuroo glances at his hand before turning to you, "It's feeling better than last night, thank you," he genuinely said with a soft smile, you nodded and turned your focus back to your laptop.

"You should eat out tonight, can't cook," you said as-a-matter-of-factly. "You won't eat later?" Kuroo asked you, shoving his hands to the pockets of his jacket, "Not planning to. Good luck on your practice later," you replied, your eyes fixated on the screen. Kuroo was about to respond until a shrill cry resonated the old-fashioned walls of the bookstore. He turned to the noise to see Oikawa Tooru gushing over the artificial Maple plant that was situated by the doorway, "Kuroo-chan takes so long! What a bastard!" He chirped, touching the leaves of the maple plant. Kuroo rolled his eyes and smirked, "Sorry, Oikawa-kun, I needed my beauty sleep, you wouldn't understand," he mocked to which Oikawa gasped at.

Before Oikawa could even retort, Sawamura Daichi glowered at the both of them and spoke, "If we're going to be late for practice I will _–"_

"Bye, [Last Name]-chan! I'll make sure to beat Kuroo-chan's ass in practice today. He doesn't deserve such a cutie roommate like you~" Oikawa sung, heading towards the door and waving at you. You lightly chuckled at his words, watching him grin at you with a cheery aura surrounding him. "Don't harass my roommate like that, Oikawa-kun," Kuroo jokingly said, wrapping his arm around Oikawa's neck and dragging him outside. "Ouch! Kuroo-chan, that's not very nice of you!" Oikawa whined as he was being dragged out of the building, still giving you an awkward smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kai's note:
> 
> check out the apartment layout that i made for the two right here: https://sta.sh/2275o13z8vfm  
>  i am no professional architect, whatsoever. just did that for more interaction with the readers :D.


	3. three

_**Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo**_

"So? Are you going to explain?" Yaku asked Kuroo as they walked side by side towards the train station. "Huh?" Kuroo responded, looking down at the smaller male, "Getting up late is not like you, Kuroo," Yaku said, his voice laced with concern while looking straight ahead. "Oh," Kuroo only responded before looking straight ahead. He opened his mouth to speak until Daichi beat him to it, "I think it's better of him to explain why his hand suddenly has a bandage wrapped around it." Kuroo glanced at Daichi who was looking at him expectantly, "What?!" Yaku exclaimed, whipping his head towards the taller male and stopping in his tracks, "Where?!" 

Kuroo and the others followed suit and he mindlessly took his left hand out of his jacket pocket and showed it to Yaku. Yaku eyed the bandaged hand, a horrified look evident on his face. "What~ I thought Yakkun already saw that, seeing as to how you're almost eye-level with Kuroo-chan's hand," Oikawa sang with a pout and both of his hands behind the back of his head. Kuroo gritted his teeth in worry, looking at Oikawa, "Idiot..." He mumbled under his breath as he could feel the tension from Yaku rise up. "Shut up!" Yaku exclaimed, a tick mark evident on his temple and his fists clenched in front of him. "You better be glad that you have your bad knee or else I would have hurt you!" He threatened the brunet. Oikawa, who is unfazed by Yaku's anger, turned his attention to Kuroo "Can you tell us about that now?" He said, his lips pointed to Kuroo's hand. "Oh yeah," Kuroo muttered under his breath, looking at the hand before shoving it back in the pocket of his jacket. The four of them continued walking, all eyes set on Kuroo. 

Kuroo sighed, realizing that he is going to think about the event all over again when he is doing his best to avoid them. "I accidentally burned my hand last night while I was cooking noodles for me and my roommate," he breathed out. The three of them continued to listen to his story, waiting for him to progress. "I was having a mental breakdown over the fucking General Sociology subject. I'm piled with all these readings that our professor gave us and I can't catch up. I almost failed on my quiz last Wednesday and I can't afford to fail her quizzes. You guys know what will happen to us when we fail a subject," he ranted, frustration visible on his face, Daichi nodded understandingly. "I was really stressing out over the subject, I tried reading the latest material that our professor gave us but I couldn't understand a word that it said. I felt so dumb while reading it and no matter how I search what the meaning is I still don't get it," he continued, the pace of his voice getting quicker. "[Name] almost saw me breaking down and crying over the stupid ramen. I looked so pathetic last night," he said a little bit calmer now, "But she's still kind enough to bandage my hand and understand my situation." His voice was below a whisper as if he was scared that everyone else might hear.

A comforting silence filled the space for a second, "Wait, isn't [Last Name]-san a Sociology major?" Daichi asked him. Kuroo looked at him and nodded, "Yeah, she even helped me out with the readings. She explained to me the concept and sent me the notes for the topic," he replied. "So, did you do anything for [Last Name]-chan in return?" Oikawa asked him, combing his hair backward. "I tidied up our room earlier," Kuroo said frankly. "What?" Yaku asked in disbelief. Kuroo looked at him with a puzzled look, "Seriously? That's all you did? I think she deserves to get more than that."

At this point, they began to enter the train station and they got on the escalator. Kuroo couldn't muster up a reply or an excuse in response to Yaku's words, slowly contemplating whether he was right; that you deserved something a little bit more. After all, you did help him with his reading material. Kuroo was second to get off the escalator, walking towards the ticket gates. He tapped his card on the gate before passing and proceeding to the train platform. He was still deep in thought until a familiar voice cut off his thought process.

"Boo! Kuroo-chan being such a bad roommate towards [Last Name]-chan! What an asshole to such a cutie girl! She deserves to be with a cutie roommate too! Like me!" Oikawa taunted, even putting his right thumb down and his left hand cupped near his mouth. Kuroo's eyebrows twitched in response and looked behind him, "Well, _Oikawa-kun_ , this _asshole_ is still roommates with the _cutie girl_ and not with you. So who wins?" He said with a triumphant smirk. Oikawa scowled at him and let out a huff of breath, "You're still stupid for using your bare hands in picking up the pot of noodles," he teased, brow raised in challenge. "Oh?" Kuroo's smirk widened, "Even though I got burnt, your _precious_ [Last Name]-chan still patched me up." He grinned. Oikawa furrowed his brows in annoyance and stuck his tongue out to him. Kuroo snickered triumphantly before the train arrived and the three of them went it.

Throughout the entirety of the train ride, Kuroo was leaning on one of the poles on the train as he read the notes that you sent to him. The notes were standard looking, it was in plain black text in a Sans Serif font. The ideas were arranged in bullets and it could be easily understood, you even have examples that a 10-year-old would understand. 

**_University of Tokyo-Komaba Campus, Meguro City, Tokyo_ **

"Oh no," Kuroo spoke under his breath. "What?" Yaku asked, looking at him as they walked towards the temporary gymnasium for the volleyball practice. "Bokuto left me a ton of messages," he replied as he scrolled through his phone. Oikawa snickered, "You think he's already in practice?" He asked, a hand in his mouth. As soon as those words left Oikawa's mouth, a loud groan could be heard from the doors of the gymnasium. They whipped their heads towards the entrance of the gymnasium, only to be met with the sight of Bokuto Koutarou, slouching with a huge pout on his face and furrowed brows. Kuroo snickered under his breath, "You guys are late! I've been waiting for you!" Bokuto exclaimed, his frown deepening. "Well, you can ask for an explanation from this big guy over here," Yaku said, slapping Kuroo's back. Kuroo's grin only widened, taking the steps up to meet Bokuto and pat his shoulder. "It's a miracle that you're earlier than the rest of us. Keep it up~" he teased, taking off his shoes to be replaced with an indoor pair, "You're annoying!" Bokuto cried.

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

Kuroo is beyond exhausted as he trailed up the steps of the apartment building. He couldn't wait to sit down, eat dinner, take a quick shower, and lay down in his futon, and if, given the chance to collapse for a few days, he would take it. He swings open the door with a soft sigh escaping his lips, when he got in simultaneously closing the door behind him, he is met with your figure sitting upright on your futon while being wrapped in your blanket, looking at him with a bored look plastered on your face. Your attention went back to your laptop, pulling it closer to you. Kuroo raised both of his brows at you while placing his bag and a paper bag on the table. He bent down, "What are you watching?" Kuroo asked you as he removed his shoes. You merely glanced at his way, "Just some romantic drama from 2016," you blankly said, eyes glued to the screen. Kuroo scoffed, "How much will I get if I bet that it's _'Love That Makes You Cry'_?" You whipped your head towards Kuroo and squinted your eyes at him, "How did you know?" You asked him, suspicions lacing your voice. 

Kuroo smirked triumphantly, putting his shoes aside, and shrugging off his jacket as he spoke, "Well, seeing as to how you're invested, the calming sound coming from the speaker and the way you are snuggled when it's practically nearing summer gives me hints you know?" You narrowed your gaze further at him as he pulls the chair and places the jacket on the backrest, "Oh, and also the fact that you know when that series aired," he continued sitting on the chair, spreading his legs in relaxation. 

You huffed, returning to the series playing on your laptop.

"Come on, let's eat dinner. I brought food," Kuroo spoke, catching your attention. You looked at him with a surprised look on your face, "You didn't have to," you said softly. Kuroo dismissed you by beckoning you with his hand. You slowly unraveled the blanket from your body and walked towards your roommate, sitting on a vacant chair. Kuroo took out the take-out from the bag and gave you your share of the food and some chopsticks.

As you two began to dig into your food, Kuroo gathers a question in his head. "Hey [Name]," he called, opening the can of sparkling water. You hummed in response. "Why did you choose to settle in this unit? I mean you seem like you came from an above-average family," he asked. You tucked a hair behind your ear as you chuckled, "Thanks for the observation but really I just came from a middle-class family." Kuroo nodded at your words, drinking the sparkling water, "Well I think you already know my reason why I settled to stay here since I feel like everyone who also rents in this building has the same explanation," you continued. "Cheap rate, near the university?" Kuroo asked you, eliciting a giggle from you and you nodded, "That's the answer." 

"Even when there's no privacy here?" He asked, peering at you. "Huh? Oh, yeah I pretty much don't mind. I've shared a room with my cousins before, so I'm used to staying with a person in a room," you replied, focusing on your food. "Well, how do you feel living with a person of a different sex?" He asked you again.

"I told you, I don't mind. I've lived with boys for the rest of my life and I don't see that living with a boy or anyone with however they identify themself is any problem. Unless they are a serial killer. Are you a serial killer, Kuroo?" 

He chuckled at your words and shook his head. He knows he may be annoying at this point but he can't help but be curious about the floating question in his mind. "Okay, last one," he said, scooting closer to the table. "Go on."

"Why did you choose me over the girl that also wanted this room?" He asked you, more interested in your response now. You rested your hand on the edge of the table and looked at him, "Kuroo, I don't think I could live with that girl. Mikazuki-san let me choose whoever roommate I want to live with and to be honest, I never considered that girl. She seemed so sloppy and the way she would always talk about her is irritating, she could go on for days. I preferred you as a roommate since you're pretty much quieter and considerate than her," you said with a shrug. Kuroo's lips curved down as he nodded, the weight of your words stuck on his mind as he tried to process how incredibly lucky he is that you chose _him_ to be your roommate just because the other candidate was annoying.

"What about you?" You asked, "Huh?" He said absentmindedly, "You're a student-athlete, aren't you? Why didn't you get a dorm at the university?" You asked him, finishing up your meal. "Was supposed to. I was in the midst of applying for a dorm application a week before I came here but apparently, they only offered the dorms for students who lived outside of Tokyo." You hummed in response, resting your elbows on the table, "So where are you actually from then?" 

"Nerima City,"

"What? That's less than a 30-minute train ride to here, why didn't you just choose to stay at your parent's?" You asked. You noticed Kuroo's eyes widen for a bit, causing you to panic, "If you don't mind me asking," you continued to assure him. Kuroo shook his head and replied with, "Sometimes you just get tired of living with the same images every day, don't you think?" He said, finishing up his meal. You nodded understandingly. "Besides, I want to be more independent now. The rent for each month here also adds up the train fare and my efforts to travel," he continued, placing the now empty box of take-out on the paper bag. You followed suit, closing the box, and then putting it inside the paper bag. "What about you? Where are you from?" Kuroo asked you, "I'm from Kyoto," you simply replied, your fingers deftly folding on the paper bag shut. "Ah, that explains the whole living with 'cousins' thing. You lived with an extended family huh?" He asked with a smirk which you squinted your eyes at him, "Yes, you stalker." 

Kuroo jokingly gasped at your statement followed by a chuckle. You stood from your chair and went straight to the garbage bin, "Thank you for the dinner tonight, Kuroo. I appreciate the extra effort of feeding me," you said, throwing the paper bag away. You trudged to the sink to wash your hands. Kuroo stood from his seat and drank the last bits of the sparkling water before throwing it in the trash, "Just being a good roommate is all," he said jokingly. "Oh fuck you," you replied, rolling your eyes at him, heading back to your futon. "No, but for real," he said, his head turned to you already getting comfortable to watch the show again, "Thank you for helping me last night. It was fucking embarrassing," he grimaced at the memory again before turning to the sink and unwrapping his bandage. "Hey Kuroo," you said in a firm yet comforting tone "Everyone has their breaking point. College is just testing us how long our patience runs and it just goes to show that your breaking point is when you couldn't understand the material and decided to make noodles but then burnt yourself in the end. Give yourself a break," you reassuringly said. Kuroo turned to you, his hand free of bandage now. "And I appreciate that you made two packs of noodles last night," you continued, the two of you just gazing into your eyes.

"I guess you could say that," Kuroo heaved a deep breath, "I'm _burnt out_ huh?"

"My God, I'm done being nice to you for the night."


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Lives Matter. Here are ways on how to help in this movement. Click here https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#
> 
> Junk Terror Bill now. The citizens of the Philippines are fighting for their freedom of speech in a bill that tears their basic human rights. Click here to know more about the issue https://junkterrorbill.carrd.co/
> 
> Stand with Hong Kong. Click here to know more about their protests https://standwithhongkong.carrd.co/
> 
> Please sign the petitions and donate if you can to the movements. In this time where the virus is rampant and injustices prevail, we must fight against these injustices and stand side by side to speak up against a system that's oppressive and suffocating. Stay safe everyone and Happy Pride Month!!

_**Institute of Social Science, University of Tokyo-Hongō Campus, Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Wednesday** _

_**kuroo roommate:** _

_Hello, [Last Name]. Sorry for texting you so suddenly. Just wanna say that I passed my Marx quiz today on General Sociology :--) Thank you._

You took a sharp intake of breath through your gritted teeth in slight envy at the message sent to you. You exhaled quietly after realizing your childish feelings right after you felt the twinge of discontent. You chewed on your bottom lip, pursing them as you typed a response to your roommate. You sent the encouraging message with a longing smile, your eyes glancing towards the scribbled paper on the table, staring at the huge red mark on the right side of the paper, your eyes seemed lost in the digits. 

"[Surname]! Are you planning on staying and sitting in for the next class?" Your close friend jokingly called out to you, squeezing in through the tight space between the chairs and table. You glanced up to your friend before standing up, shoving your phone down your pocket and slinging your backpack to your shoulder simultaneously taking the paper resting on the table. "You okay?" Your friend, Fukuda Chiaki, asked you when she felt the unnerving aura radiating from your body. "Yeah well," you replied, your eyes trailing to the front of the classroom, observing the blank whiteboard and empty classroom. Fukuda followed suit, you fished your phone out of your pocket, unlocking it before handing it to your friend. "What...?" Fukuda asked absent-mindedly, looking at you then to your phone. You urged her to get the phone to which she complied. 

"This is your roommate?" Fukuda asked, you nodded and gripped on your paper tightly. "Hm," she continued, handing your phone back, "Why do these pre-med students get their quizzes back on the same day they took the quiz? While we have to wait in anticipation and wonder when our quizzes will return to us...?" She asked with a huff. You rolled your eyes and squeezed your way out of the seats. "That's not the point," you grumbled under your breath. Fukuda mumbled an "Oof, shouldn't have said that," under her breath before running up to you, walking side by side with you. "Yeah, I see," Fukuda said, gripping on the strap of her backpack. "So, I figured that you taught him and he passed the quiz while you get an...?" She trailed off, tilting her head to the side to take a look at your paper. You didn't bother putting it up to her sight nor hiding it, you just watched Fukuda struggle with her angle. "You got a 19 over 30 on last Monday's quiz," Fukuda straightened up as you released a sigh with a nod. "Only 6 points left to pass the quiz," Fukuda continued, pursing her lips in sympathy.

You nodded, your eyes squinting and hand shielding your vision from the harming sunlight as the two of you near the exits of the building. "I guess if I fail at whatever I want to be when I grow old, I could always turn to teach right? 'Tis the fate to follow the steps of the matriarch!" You half-heartedly joked, a forced smile painting on your lips. Fukuda shook her head in discouragement, sighing, "You'll get what you worked for, [Name]," she comfortingly said. The two of you spared a glance at the security guard at the information desk of the building, giving him a slight nod of acknowledgment before getting back to your conversation and exiting the building. "Fukuda, you know how the world works," you said, glancing at her, the two of you stopping in your tracks, "Life is already hard for women, but life will definitely shit on women who fight the system," you continued, "I don't want to get all 'philosophical' or whatever, but you know what I mean." 

Fukuda nodded, placing her hands to the pockets of her jacket, "Yeah, I get you. But it doesn't hurt to be a little hopeful in yourself, [Name]," she reminded you. You fell silent at her words. You know your friend is right. The uncertainty of the future is quite frightening but it won't hurt you to at least be a little hopeful that the future will bring you peace and happiness. The overwhelming pressure from college also contributes to your anxiety, if that's not enough, the misogynistic society that you grew up in doesn't help either. The possibility of you getting somewhere in life seems to wither as you continue to learn what society is capable of doing. Taking this college degree program is a _hell_ of a challenge. You continued staring at the concrete underneath your shoes, feeling the uncertainty eat you alive, but you know it's not the right time for you to contemplate on the unfortunate things in your life. You exhaled before turning to Fukuda, "Well, let's leave the conversation at that. I'm sure we have a longer time to think about it. For now, we are met with another disturbing question." Fukuda groaned at your words.

"Where will we eat lunch now?" The two of you grunted in sync.

 **_Mcdonald's Kasuga Station,_ ** _**Hongō, Bunkyo City, Tokyo** _

"In your face, Mori-kun!" Kuroo boasted, shoving the paper in his friend's face. Yaku sputtered, his hands flailing against the paper, "Get the paper off my face, dumbass! I can't see!" Yaku exclaimed to which Kuroo just grinned proudly, taking his paper and showed it off to his teammates. His thumb and index finger on his chin as he proudly showed the paper, he snickered to himself, "Bow down to me, men who scored less than 25." Oikawa grimaced in irritation, "I literally scored two points less than you. And we're not even in the same program!" Oikawa hissed, taking a sip from his iced coffee. Kuroo smirked, removing his fingers from his chin, slamming his hand to the table and peering close to Oikawa's face, "Two points _lower_ than me, _illiterate_ ," he taunted jokingly. The brunet's frown grew deeper, irritated that he agreed in eating lunch with these idiots as if practice with them isn't already taxing. Bokuto was sulking beside Kuroo as he drank his orange juice, "I wish I had a score above 15 in General Sociology too," he mumbled under his breath. Kuroo turned to him and grinned, he was about to boast further but Yaku spoke, "How were you able to score more than 20? Social sciences are not your forte." Suspiciousness laced in his voice.

Kuroo raised a brow at him, turned to Daichi who had the same look as him and was about to speak until the chimes of the doors got their attention. Kuroo turned to the door and saw you conversing with a friend, paper in hand. Kuroo's face lit up and stood from his chair, the loud rattling of the metal against the floor catching your attention. "Roommate!" Kuroo exclaimed, a grin on his face. You stood by the doorway frozen, shocked at the unexpected meeting. Your hand holding the test paper instinctively folded the paper in half to avoid the taller male from seeing your test results. "Oh, Kuroo, hi," you spoke, walking towards their table. "You're having lunch here too?" You asked, eyes glancing at every person on the table, a soft smile of acknowledgment plastered on your face. "You're the one who made it possible for Kuroo to score a 26 on his General Sociology quiz, right?" Daichi asked her, a small smile painted on his face.

You stood there dumbfounded at the sudden information thrown at you. _Kuroo got a 26 on his quiz? How lucky_. How you wish you were able to pass one of your quizzes in General Sociology soon. You felt the upsetting feeling on your stomach boiling, realizing how you continuously fail your major subject while your roommate, whose General Sociology is a minor subject, manages to score above the passing rate. You were happy for him but you are disappointed with yourself. Of course, you should be happy for him, you were the one who taught him the concepts in the first place! You weren't able to answer at first, taken aback by the sudden question until Fukuda poked your arm that sends you back to reality.

You widened her eyes and nodded, "Oh yeah," you said, putting your hand that was holding the test paper behind your back casually. Kuroo smirked, standing beside you, "Meet my tutor and roommate everyone, [Surname] [First Name]. Bachelor of Arts Major in Sociology," he introduced, casually slinging an arm over your shoulder. Yaku rolled his eyes at him, "You already introduced her to us, Kuroo. Probably like the third time now," he said, irritation lacing his voice. Oikawa, on the other hand, gleamed at you, his elbows on the table, and his face resting on the palm of his hands, "I don't mind if you introduce her a million times to me, Kuroo-chan! She's still pretty as ever!" He exclaimed albeit flirtatiously, staring intently at you. Yaku, Daichi, and Bokuto looked at Oikawa with raised brows, a little bothered by his words and actions. You directed your attention to Oikawa and gave him a soft smile, "I don't think I got your name," she said, Oikawa gasped in surprise and straightened his back.

"That is unfortunate! I am Oikawa–"

"So, [Name], we're running out of food at the apartment, do you want to do some grocery shopping again later?" Kuroo asked. 

"Hey, dumbass Kuroo-chan!–" Oikawa complained, Bokuto laughed at his annoyance and pointed a finger to him. Oikawa pouted at him in response.

You faced Kuroo which irritated Oikawa further at the taller male, "Oh yeah, I noticed that too. Have you already gotten your allowance from the university?" You asked him. Kuroo nodded, "Yeah, I just got it earlier when we dropped by the Sports Development Office." You nodded at his words. "That's good to hear. So..." You trailed off, looking at your wristwatch. "I'll be out by 7 in the evening," Kuroo spoke, "I'm out by 5 in the afternoon," you mused. Kuroo was about to compromise until you spoke again, "I can wait for you though, I might stay at the photography circle's office in the meantime."

Kuroo agreed at your words, "I'll just text you once class ends," he replied. You then turned to his friends, "Well, it's nice meeting everyone, my friend and I will be having lunch now," you said. Oikawa and Bokuto waved the two of you goodbye enthusiastically to which you responded with a wave and a smile before the two of you headed to the counter to order.

Kuroo sat back at his chair and drank on his soda. The three stared at him curiously, "What?" Kuroo asked them absentmindedly. Oikawa hummed, placing his elbows back on the table and resting his head on the palm of his hand. "[Name]-chan is nice, huh?" He suggested, closing his eyes. Kuroo nodded in agreement, "She is," he replied, taking his phone from the table and scrolling aimlessly on a social media site. "Can't believe someone could actually help you out at this time. I can already feel the hell week approaching even if it's still like a month away," Daichi spoke, shivers running down his spine in anxiety and anticipation. "Every day is like hell week here in Todai," Bokuto mumbled, staring blankly at the empty plate. Daichi and Yaku nodded in agreement at Bokuto's words. Oikawa continued to gaze at Kuroo, observing his actions and reading his eyes. 

"Isn't there a chance that you will like her?" Oikawa teased, causing Daichi and Yaku to look at him with a surprised look etched on their faces. "I knew Oikawa would say something that dumb," Daichi grunted under his breath, folding his arms across his chest. Bokuto looked at his friend expectantly with a grin but Kuroo turned his head to the windows, gazing longingly with the cup in hand. He didn't reply for a minute causing Bokuto's grin to falter slowly, confusion washing over him at the sudden uneasiness from his best friend. The sudden shift of emotions from Kuroo caused uneasiness from the three. "It's possible for boys and girls to be friends without any meaning, Oikawa-kun," Kuroo said. Yaku sighed at his response, raising a brow at him worriedly, "You still love _her_ , huh? We've already graduated, Kuroo. Don't you think it's time to leave the memories of her behind and settle for a different person?" 

Kuroo could only breathe calmly despite the raging emotions in his mind.

"I'll be waiting for this dream to come true, Yakkun," he said in a whisper. "Just to be with her."


	5. five

**_Faculty of Science Bldg. 1, Koshiba Hall,_ ** **_University of Tokyo_ ** _**-Hongō Campus, Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Wednesday** _

_"Hello?"_

"Hey. Sorry for calling so suddenly, you weren't responding to my texts so—"

_"Oh shit, you texted? Sorry, I didn't see!"_

"No, it's okay. Anyway, classes just ended and I'm on my way out of the building."

The inhaling of breath and the sudden puff of wind could be heard from the other line making Kuroo's eyebrows scrunch in worry and bewilderment.

_"Senpai, I'm heading to the No-seimon gate."_

Kuroo was about to respond and inquire why he got called _'senpai'_ until another voice spoke in the distance, _"Eh? For what?"_ Kuroo pressed his phone closer to his ear as he exited the college building and stayed on the side of the doorway. He greeted some of his classmates who were rushing out of the building with a smile and wave. 

_"My roommate and I will stock up on our food at the apartment, senpai."_

A hum could be heard from the other line and shuffling of fabric. Someone seemed to be rummaging through a bag. _"Pretty sure convenience stores won't allow you to buy this,"_ the deep gruff voice said, tossing something to you which you seemed to have caught. _"Ah,"_ you chuckled hesitantly, _"Hopefully I won't get hooked on this,"_ you continued. Kuroo exhaled a breath, growing impatient at the conversation that he isn't a part of and began walking towards the direction of the Main Gate. You caught Kuroo's restlessness, _"I have to go, senpai! Thanks for this and the time to teach me new techniques!"_ Kuroo took his phone from his right hand with his left and continued trudging forward.

_"Hi! Sorry about that. I'm about to head to the No-seimon gate, where's your way?"_

"I'm on my way to the Main Gate." 

_"Oh yeah! You're coming from the Faculty of Science. Alright! I'll be heading to the Main Gate. See you there!"_ You chirped which Kuroo find odd. You particularly don't speak cheerfully unless the two of you are talking about your favorite hip-hop artists. "Sure, see you," Kuroo said before hanging up. 

He sighed and turned his head to the Prussian blue sky, he wished the sky to be littered with stars but because of the heavily lit city that he was in, only a few dots could be seen. He already knew that they were satellites but the child in him wishes otherwise. He shook his head in dispiritedness. Then he rolled his eyes in annoyance, this was just the topic that they discussed last Friday on Biological Sciences, he realized that he's slowly falling into the symptoms of stress.

"Oh." He involuntarily spoke after realizing how his train of thought began to slam towards the idea of _her_. He shook his head in hopes that it will take his mind off of the thoughts of her. He shoved his hands on the pocket of his jeans and begun making a mental list in his head on what to purchase. He scrunched his brows in frustration when he tried to budget the allowance that was given by the university to him in his mind. He whipped his phone out and began to calculate the possible expenses that he will do for the night, making a mental note that he should not buy anything unnecessary. His allowance was enough for the whole month and it could only fit for his food. If his father could send him additional money for the monthly rent in their apartment that would be nice.

He was too engrossed in pressing various numbers in his phone in an attempt to try and budget his money for the upcoming month that he didn't notice he was already nearing the main gate. "Kuroo!" A voice called out to him, making him immediately halt to his tracks, he followed the sound to his right and realized that hurried footsteps were heading towards him. He squinted his eyes to make out the blurry figure running towards him, "[Name]?" He muttered.

You had your hair messily tied up with your jacket falling to your shoulder, apparent that you raced your way towards the main gate. Kuroo raised a brow at you when you finally caught with him, your hands resting on your knees, panting. "Why the hell were you running?" Kuroo asked. You raised an index finger at him, heaving deep breaths. When you managed to catch your breath, you straightened your back and gave him a lazy smile, "I wanted to see if I could arrive first at the Main Gate but I'm still no match to your lanky legs," you said, placing your hands to your hips. Kuroo snickered at your words and patted your head, "Better luck next time, chibi-chan~" he sang, exiting the university grounds. You frowned at his words, "Sure, whatever you say, beanpole," you muttered under your breath, jogging to Kuroo's side. 

Kuroo could still feel the aftermath of his subjects torturing the hell out of his mind, especially when his last subject was _Basics in Mathematics I._ He couldn't see anything basic about it. He wants to try and converse with you but his mind was still stuck on the equations written on the board and the activity that they had done earlier. His mind was muddled with equations and the struggle to budget his allowance that he didn't notice you leaving his side. "Eh?" He turned his head to spot you only to find you near the vending machine on his left. "You seem like you could use a drink," you said, pointing towards the chilled can in your hand. He followed your advice and grabbed the ice-cold coffee. He popped open the can and chugged down, he glanced at you with the can still in his lips. You were waiting for him patiently to come back to his senses, your hands clasped together behind your back. Kuroo then thought about sharing a drink with you, you two weren't _actually_ close friends to the point where you would share each other your problems—let alone share a drink.

"Do you want one too?" He asked you, motioning towards the vending machine.

You shook your head, "I'm good."

The sound of cars whizzing by filled the silence between the two of you. Kuroo drank his coffee again and felt the wires in his brain starting to reconnect. He's even noticing that you were doing nothing but stare at him.

"I offered you to buy a drink because I felt that I won't be able to talk to you properly. I was afraid that if I asked you where to go grocery shopping you would respond with something bizarre."

"...Oh."

Your lips remained a thin line. "So where do we go?"

Kuroo blinked confusedly. "Where do we go where?"

"...Grocery shopping, Kuroo."

"Oh."

 **_Mini Piago,_ ** _**Hongō, Bunkyo City, Tokyo** _

"I prefer the seafood flavor, Kuroo," you spoke, reaching towards the pack of 10s instant noodles. "[Name], that isn't healthy. One pack is enough," Kuroo replied, watching you dump three more packs in your basket. "Are college students ever healthy?" You asked him, grabbing another pack of noodles, this time, beef-flavored. "Fair point, but we only need one pack. I know that's the cheapest food out here, but we could get ill," he argued, grabbing the packs from the basket and placing them back to the shelves. "You're a pre-med student right?" You asked, facing him, Kuroo smirked, "Proudly." 

"That explains a lot," you replied, placing a hand over your chin.

"What the hell does that even mean?" A tick mark forming on Kuroo's temple. 

You whipped your head towards Kuroo with gleaming eyes and a thrilled expression etched on your face, "Do you know how to make gyudon?" You asked him, almost exclaiming. He was taken aback by your sudden change of mood, "Uh, yeah. Would you like—" 

"Make one for tonight!" 

Kuroo was taken aback by your sudden declaration, staring at your retreating figure trailing towards the end of the aisle to pass through, "I'll be grabbing some personal stuff!" You called, waving your hand in the air before leaving the aisle. He raised a brow at nothing in particular before resuming his attention to the errand.

Minutes passed and he seemed to have gotten everything that he needed in able to survive for the next month in college again. He gripped on the shopping basket, turning around to look for his roommate. He spotted your figure at the freezers at the back, a shopping basket on hand as you stared intently on the frozen goods. Kuroo began to walk towards you to call out that they should get going now. As he was nearing, an issue from the magazine rack caught his peripheral view. He halted in his tracks and focused on the rack, walking towards it with careful steps. He glanced sideways, confirming that you were still too caught up on the freezers. He turned his attention back to the magazine, seeing the ever-so familiar figures of girls wearing black and silver punk clothing. Kuroo was hesitant in getting the magazine, he wasn't even reading the cover lines, he was too focused on the image of the main models and the faint memories behind the cover. He didn't bother with his monthly budget, he took the magazine in his hands and placed it on the bottom of the shopping basket.

He ran his fingers through his hair and walked towards you once again, still staring at the freezers. He furrowed his brows in confusion. Kuroo stood behind you, peeking over the contents of the freezer.

_Ice cream?_

"You can open the freezer, y'know," Kuroo spoke, shifting his weight on his other foot. You jumped in surprise, a small shriek escaping your lips, startled by the intrusion of your thoughts. You turned behind and placed a hand over your chest, calming your hammering heart. "Jesus Christ, Kuroo you scared me," you squeaked. Kuroo cocked a brow at you.

"What?" You asked him, your eyes trailing to the shopping basket in his hand, "Oh, you're done. Let's go then," you said blankly, turning on your heel and heading towards the counter. Kuroo raised a brow at the sudden drop of your emotions compared to earlier. He shrugged and followed you to the counter. 

You took the bag from the cashier and stepped aside, so that Kuroo could pay for his groceries. You were too engrossed on the social media application on your phone that you didn't pay attention to his items. But what caught your eye was the amateur-ish photograph of a girl on his wallet while he was taking out some bills. You felt rude for taking a glimpse of his wallet but you figured that it was an accident and leaned on the counter, waiting for the grocer to finish bagging Kuroo's stuff.

The walk back to the apartment was unpleasant. It has nothing to do with something between the two of you, it was because of the conflict that they have with yourselves. The chilly wind kissed both of your skin, a small gesture that informs them that this may be the last breeze that they will be having before summer comes. Silence filled the two as they tread slowly back to their home. The two of you have the desire to speak up, it was apparent that something is bothering the other party but the two of you were too cautious of the other's feelings. 

Kuroo decided to take the first move, "Did you wanted the ice cream?" 

You shake your head, "I was just thinking about stuff," 

"Related to ice cream?"

"Related to ice cream."

Kuroo chuckled lowly at your response, a small smile forming on your lips. "It felt like you were angry at it," he said. You pursed your lips, "Yeah, maybe," you mumbled, your eyes following the streetlamps and the bushes on their side. He cocked a brow at you, waiting for you to continue. You stayed silent. "It's okay. Everything will be okay," He assured. You chortled under your breath, thankful for your roommate's respect for your emotions. 

"Everything is already fine, Kuroo," you said, looking up at the buildings. "It should be," you continued, gripping the plastic bags tighter. "What do you mean?" He asked you, you looked at him, staring into his deep brown eyes.

"Because it seems that he has already found a better half for him."

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

You exhaled a deep breath as you stepped inside the apartment, placing the plastic bags on the dining table before removing your shoes on the entryway. Kuroo, on the other hand, began unpacking the goods that the two of you bought, setting down the groceries on the cupboards. You slid towards the fridge to get some water, and as soon as you approached the dining table, an interesting color palette caught your eye. You tilted your head in confusion and you set your glass down on the table. Kuroo was too invested in sorting the canned goods in the cupboard according to their brand that he didn't notice you taking out his magazine from the plastic bag.

"You listen to Babymetal?" You asked, your hand holding the magazine to examine the contents and your other holding the glass of water up to your lips. Kuroo whipped his head in your direction in shock with widened eyes and mouth agape.

"Don't touch that!" He swiped the magazine from you and placed it on the counter. You let out an awkward smile and slowly turned your head to Kuroo. "Sorry, I was just curious," you softly spoke, putting down the glass on the table, and taking all of the plastic bags, stuffing it all on their spare drawer. Kuroo sighed, staring at the magazine on the counter before placing the remaining packed noodles on the cupboard. He knew that you didn't mean to be rude to him, but he can't help but feel like you crossed the line. He rolled his eyes, knowing he was being too immature.

You eyed him, pursing your lips before sitting down on the chair. You can't blame him for being angry, you would have felt the same way too if he had touched your stuff. If your below-average score on your quiz from General Sociology wasn't enough to make you feel like shit, you just had to ruin your roommate's mood as well. You pouted to yourself and plopped your face on the table. Your eyes closing momentarily to reflect on what you had done.

For a few minutes of breathing calmly, your heart rate's picked up gradually in anxiety while Kuroo was preparing your dinner. You continued to rest your forehead on the table and Kuroo thought that you had passed out while sitting uncomfortably. But as soon as he set down the two bowls of gyudon on the table with some rice, your head whipped upright, grabbing the chopsticks on the side and practically exclaiming, _"Thanks for the food!"_

You wolved down on the food with such gratitude. Kuroo could only look at you softly, hesitant to say the words out loud. He scoffed inwardly at his battle with himself and sat down. "That magazine isn't for me. I don't listen to Babymetal," he said while you drank water. You gave him a puzzled look and almost slammed the glass on the table in excitement from the food, "Then why... are you so mad?" You asked carefully, savoring the meal. Kuroo turned his gaze to the window and sighed, "A good friend of mine likes that band."

You cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, waiting for him to finish up.

Kuroo decided that the words he's letting out was already too much and began to eat his food. You know that you shouldn't pry on his personal life but you can't help but feel the tension around him. You pursed your lips, fishing your phone out from your pocket and scrolling down on your music streaming application.

As soon as you pressed play on a particular song, Kuroo's eyes widened in bewilderment. "Stop playing that song," he muttered while you increased the volume and set your phone down the table. "It's a good song."

Kuroo had a horrified look plastered on his face, glancing at your phone then at you. "It's from our favorite artist, Kuroo. Time to pay your respect," you jokingly said, finishing up your meal. His eyebrow twitched as certain memories were threatening to flood back to him. He was about to burst a dam until you paused the song, leaning back to your chair, "I didn't mean to pry, but I just wanted to test my theory," you said. Kuroo released a sigh of relief and focused back on his food.

"Ivy by Frank Ocean is still," you clicked your tongue twice and your fingers raised up showing an OK gesture. "I know," he sighed, finishing his meal. He stared at the glass of water for a few minutes before gulping it down in one go and turned to you, "That good friend was a person who played a massive role in my unrequited love," he finally said, gazing into the city lights out their window. 

You could only look at him with slightly widened eyes, your hands shoved down on the pockets of your jacket, taken aback at the new information about your roommate. 

_He's also a victim of cupid's stupid play huh?_

You followed his gaze at the window, "I understand that you still love her. Or him. And that you don't mind that they don't love you back as long as you're loving someone. Unrequited love is still valid," you spoke softly, Kuroo slowly turning to you. "But hey, the least thing you can do is to stop limiting yourself from the person who doesn't put you in a special frame." You met his gaze "How about you try taking that love and investing it to yourself?" You sighed and looked out the window again.

"Just a thought."

At his roommate's words, Kuroo felt relieved and solace in the middle of a storm. One that he hadn't felt reciprocated in a long time.


	6. six

"Let's check out her socials."

Kuroo sputtered out his drink in surprise, "W-What?" His hand cupped over his chin to catch the liquid substance dripping from his lips. "Ew, Kuroo, you're gross," you groaned in disgust, shifting away from him in your seat. Kuroo rolled his eyes, straightening his back, and wiped his hand on his shirt. You continued to squint your eyes at him in distaste, keeping yourself away from him. "If you didn't surprise me with those words then I wouldn't have spit out my drink, you dummy," he retorted, looking back at you, taking note of your gaze that has softened for a millisecond, before a mischievous glint in your eyes shone. Chills run down his spine, his instincts were telling him that whatever you say, he should not go along with the plan. You curved your lips into a smile and leaned forward the table, "Can I have her Instagram handle?" You asked nicely, your hands clasped in front of you on the table.

Kuroo hesitantly shook his head, he knew this was a bad idea.

"What for?" He asked, "I don't follow her anymore," he continued, feeling a tad bit braver than before.

Your grin grew wider, resting your elbows on the table, and you clasped your hands to your chin. "Then what's the big deal? We're just going to check up on her, man," you said, looking at him at the corner of your eyes. Kuroo sunk to his chair and gazed outside the window. You suddenly realized what you were doing, panic bubbled in your chest. You closed your eyes then sighed, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be pushy," you said apologetically. "No- no, it's fine!" Kuroo panicked straightening his posture and waving his hands in the air across his chest "I was just..." He trailed off, lowering his hands to his lap before getting lost at the buildings again. "Scared," he mumbled under his breath. 

"Of... what exactly?" You whispered.

"Of getting hurt again when I see her face," he muttered, almost inaudible but you managed to catch that.

"Well, you don't have to do it, Kuroo-"

"I want to do it."

Within seconds, Kuroo searched her Instagram account on his phone before quickly handing it over to you, almost tossing to you the cellular device. "Alright, missy, let's see what you have here..." You muttered, tapping the grid icon to scroll through the photos one by one. You hum every time you pass by an innocent group photo or selfie. Kuroo, on the other hand, felt like chewing on his fingernails in anxiety over what you might witness on his ex [unrequited] "lover's" account. After a minute, you get bored with seeing the same sequence of photos and was about to hand back his phone until a particular photo caught your attention. You gasped at the photo, a hand over your lips in shock. "What is it?" Kuroo demanded, lightly slamming the palm of his hand on the table. "Kuroo..." You could only muster out, tapping on various places on the screen which made Kuroo fidget even more.

"[Name]."

"She..." You muttered, chewing on your bottom lip.

"What?" Kuroo asked in worry.

"Kuroo, she..." You looked up at him, "She has a boyfriend already."

The two of you both sat in silence, the soft hums of the turbine on the ceiling filled the void. Kuroo couldn't absorb the information that he just received. He could only stare blankly at the window and would steal glimpses from you. His hand was covering his mouth while you sat there, focusing your gaze on him only. You apologized already but Kuroo dismissed it, it was nobody's fault, he would say. Followed by mumbles that you couldn't comprehend.

For a few minutes, the two of you just sat there in silence. Until Kuroo decided to speak up, "When I entered college, I was so sure that I would still wait for her." His eyes stare aimlessly outside the window, "No matter how long it takes, I would absolutely wait for her," he continued. "But now..." He heaved a huge sigh, "I'm not so sure anymore," he mumbled.

You leaned forward, your elbows resting on the table as you listened earnestly. "How long have you been waiting for her?" You asked softly, Kuroo spared you a glance before returning his gaze out the window.

"Since the 1st year of high school."

And for some reason, this information shook your core. You stood up abruptly, the sound of the wooden chair skidding across the flooring catching your roommate's attention. You snatched the Babymetal magazine sitting on the kitchen counter and immediately tossed it in the trash bin before your roommate could even process what was happening. When you stood beside the bin with your arms folded against your chest, that's when Kuroo stood up, the chair skidding across the floor. "Oi [Name], what the fuck! Why did you throw that away?" He exclaimed, ready to dash towards the trash to get back the magazine. You stood in front of the bin, blocking his way. "Give me one thing that you hate about Miss Unrequited Lover here," you demanded, tapping your foot on the floor. "W-what!? How did it come to that? How could I dislike anything about her? Give me back the magazine!" Kuroo yelled, his hands flailing in the air.

"Oh please!" You rolled your eyes, "Stop putting her on a pedestal! For sure there is something that you dislike about her. Come on, you can do it! Give me one thing that you hate about Miss Unrequited Lover here." You repeated with a firmer tone.

"What is that for!?" Kuroo panicked as you began to countdown from 5, "If I count down to 1 then I'll play Ivy again on the speaker!" You threatened.

"No!" His hands gripping on his hair in frustration and panic before blurting, "During group projects, she would always be so bossy and demanding that she would sometimes even bring that attitude when we're hanging out!"

Kuroo heaved a deep breath and continued to stare at you with wide eyes. You could only give him a soft smile, you chortled, and you let your hands fall to your sides. Kuroo slowly raised a brow at you, then quickly furrowing his brows, and his lips turned into a frown. "What the fuck was that for?!" Kuroo exclaimed his hands in front of him in frustration. You exhaled a breath, closing your eyes momentarily for Kuroo to calm down.

"Kuroo it's been months and you're still hung up on that girl," you reply nonchalantly, walking towards your seat and sitting back down. Kuroo huffed, "As if you're not the same with your guy, Mr. Ice Cream Man."

You whipped your head towards your roommate in shock with knitted brows, "It's obvious oi, don't even deny it," he continued, following your actions and sat on the chair. You rolled your eyes in response, "You were planning to give the magazine to her. You're giving yourself a reason to see her again, dumbass," you retorted, turning your gaze to the window. Kuroo raised a brow at you, "Don't talk like you haven't moved on from your guy."

You turned to him with a frown, "I haven't. But I'm not hoping anymore that one day he will come back to me again."

Kuroo scowled at your words, he knows it's true.

"You, on the other hand, you're still doing everything that will make the girl like you. Come on, Kuroo. You have to accept the fact that she probably doesn't think about you anymore."

He could only stare at you blankly, ignoring the sharp pang in his heart with every word that you were saying.

"She won't suddenly wake up one day and think that she doesn't love her boyfriend anymore and she will start loving you instead. That probably won't happen. And if it did, would it be okay for you?" 

"Okay at what?" Kuroo asks.

"Okay for you that you would be the second option for everything? It's obvious that you're not among her first choices, Kuroo."

The two of you stared at each other in silence, the heavy feeling in your hearts settling in, but at this very moment, they found the mutual comfort and hurt from each other.

Something that they have been searching for a long time. 

The next morning, Kuroo wakes up later than usual. The two of you were up talking to each other about their experiences last night and got caught up in the moment. He stirs in his sleep when he realizes he might get late again for practice and Yaku would have to resort in kicking him in the head. Kuroo rolls over to his right, slowly opening his eyes at the sight of the empty apartment room. The neutral colors of the space with the light from the glass doors of the balcony gave him a strong sense of serenity. His breathing is steady as his eyes traveled to every furniture that filled the minimal space of the apartment. He rolled to his back and for a second, he sat back up and arranged his futon in place. He groggily stared at the room, yawning, and scratching his hip. As he went towards the cupboards to grab a glass of water, a light blue sticky note is on the refrigerator door. He squinted his eyes as he plucked the note out of the door, reading the line, " _Please take out the trash. Thanks! -[Name]"_

He placed the sticky note on the cupboard door before heading towards the garbage bin. As he opened the bin, he is met with the magazine sitting on top of all the trash. It was enough to wake his senses up. He thought about grabbing it and just dousing it with alcohol until your words from last night went back to him. He shook his head in disapproval and took the black plastic bag out of the bin. He never knew his roommate would help him become courageous in facing the pain of moving forward.

 **_University of Tokyo-Komaba Campus, Meguro City, Tokyo_ ** _**– Thursday** _

"Yeah, the coach said that if we perform well, he may be picking new players before the summer break," Yaku said over the line, his arm outstretched with his hand desperately trying to get Kuroo on the frame. _"Oh really? That sounds great for the two of you,"_ the other person over the line replied unenthusiastically. Yaku closed his eyes as he exhaled a breath, "Come on, Kenma, this is the few moments that we get to video chat you and you're still so... bored. Don't you miss us?" Yaku replied with a half-hearted smile.

 _"...Isn't Kuro the one supposed to say that?"_ Kenma Kozume asked.

Yaku rolled his eyes and tilted his head towards Kuroo, "Yeah, you're right. But this idiot seems to be acting weird today and I don't know why," he said, staring at the taller male's blank features. "Oi, Kuroo! Your best friend is on the line, don't you wanna talk to him? And hold the damn phone my arm is sore," Yaku insisted, his elbow falling to his side, Kuroo merely gave him a glance and an apologetic smile. "Sorry, was just thinking about how moving on feels initially painful but... freeing, no?" He said, followed with a grin before jogging up the steps towards the gym. Yaku looked at him with wide eyes and mouth agape, _"Is he for real?"_ Kenma asks with a raised brow, Yaku shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't know, Kenma," he says slowly, "But this is news for me. After four years, he just suddenly decides to move on... from her." He watches Kuroo tie his indoor shoes before he slides open the door to the gym, and enters with a huge grin, greeting Bokuto and Daichi. Inevitably teasing at Oikawa by smirking cockily in the process. "Huh." Yaku huffed, "I wonder what made him flip the switch in his head all of a sudden." 

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

Kuroo sighs as he swings open the door to their apartment, his movements sluggish from the whole day of practice and individual training. His eyes stayed on your slouched figure sitting on the chair by the dining table. Your fingertips digging in your scalp in frustration, your eyes solely focused on the papers in front of you while mumbling incoherently under your breath. He closed the door behind him, a foot raised to remove his shoes, catching your attention, your head whipped above, eyes making contact with each other. "Welcome home, motherfucker," you said without processing it over your mind, catching the two of you taken aback. Kuroo widened his eyes and he froze from removing his shoes. You were about to apologize, knowing that the two of you aren't that close to being cursing each other. Kuroo smirked in response and proceeded to take off his shoes, "I'm home, fuck you too, [Name]." 

You almost sighed in relief. You brought your attention back to the paper in front of you, your hands falling to the table. "What are you doing?" Kuroo asked curiously, placing a brown paper bag on the table right across you. "Studying for German class tomorrow," you replied, your fingers inching towards the bag. You took a hold of the bag and opened it, eyes widening at the sight. You pouted and slouched back into the chair, "You know you don't have to buy me food every time you have practice right?" You whined, absolutely grateful at the items you saw inside the paper bag. Your gaze followed Kuroo's figure towards their closet, rummaging through his clothes, "And what?" Kuroo peeked from the closet door, "Let you starve to death? You already don't eat breakfast," he continued, walking towards the bathroom with his clothes at hand. You rolled your eyes, "Wow, you are _such_ a good roommate," you say sarcastically.

Kuroo scoffed, "I just don't want to be one of the suspects when you die, dumbass." He called from the bathroom, his hand waving in the air as he slowly closed the door.

"Fuck you, Kuroo!"

After a couple of minutes, Kuroo exits the bathroom, the wet sheen on his skin still evident, and his brow raised at you who is still slouched over at the table and invested in reading something. He huffed and walked towards the table, pulling a chair and sat on it, however, you couldn't be bothered. Kuroo rolled his eyes at the stubbornness, "Do you need me to help you out?" He offered, you looked at him at the corner of your eye before focusing on the reading material. "No, you're tired," you said bluntly. He rested his face on the palm of his right hand before snatching the paper away from you.

"Hey!"

He placed the paper on the kitchen counter before turning to you, a dumbfounded expression painted all over your face. "What the hell was that for, Kuroo?" You seethed, "We're going to eat dinner, dummy."

For a few moments, the two of you sat in silence as you slowly chewed on their takeout. You were visibly stressed since you drowned yourself in reading materials the whole day. "So," Kuroo spoke, while you stared into space as you ate, "Why are you guys studying German?" He asked. You darted your eyes to him, you placed your chopsticks on the carton of your food. "Our chairperson said that we needed to study German and Mandarin since a lot of our future reading materials are in German and Mandarin. Well after we graduate, that is," you replied, "Like most of the researches that are developing right now are in those languages as well as English." 

Kuroo nods understandingly. Silence filled the two again, "Do you have anything else to do besides actually studying and working for Mikazuki-san's bookstore?" He asked. "I'm part of the Peer Support Room and the Photo Culture Association in the university," you replied bluntly. He shook his head, "No, I mean what have you been into lately? How do you spend your time besides school and work stuff?" He asked, his head resting on his palm, his eyes boring into yours. "How do you manage to stay sane at all of the shit?"

You pondered for a moment before a lightbulb went over your head, "I have always been invested in books and art but recently I just like exploring new music and listening,” You replied before taking a bite of the food. Kuroo pursed his lips and nodded, "Oh yeah, I sometimes catch you sitting by the balcony with earphones on.”

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." Kuroo places a hand on his chin, "I thought I was just dreaming 'cause it would be in the middle of the night and I just want to piss.” You laugh at his response, "You should join me some other time." You take the glass beside the carton and sips at the water. "What about tonight?" Kuroo suggested. "Are you sure?" You glanced at the wall clock, "Don't you have classes tomorrow?"

"Yeah, major subjects actually." Kuroo shrugged nonchalantly to which you laughed at, "Join me tomorrow instead, you're tired today."

Kuroo pursed his lips and nodded slowly, "Yeah you're right," he muttered. "Good call." He snaps his fingers and pointed at you jokingly. 

"Whatever, nerd."


	7. seven

**_Mikazuki Bookstore,_ ** _**Hongō** _ **_,_ ** _**Bunkyō** _ **_City, Tokyo_ ** _**– Friday** _

_Click!_

_Whirrr_

"Hm. Too dark."

_Click!_

_Whirrr_

"Too bright. What is up with the lighting in this bookstore?" You complained under your breath, staring at the film in between your fingers. Rolling your eyes in frustration, you released a soft sigh before placing the film on the counter. It was yet another slow day at manning the bookstore, the sunlight crept inside the glass doors of the store, adding to the dim golden ambiance of the shop. Hums from the fan on your side filled the quiet space, besides the inconsistent clicking and whirring from your instant camera, and soft footsteps of a few customers padding through the wooden flooring. Your eyes scanned the place, checking if there would be anyone needing your assistance before you turned back taking random shots on your camera. Your hands grasped on the sides of the black instant camera, hovering it over your right eye, your left eye shut for a moment. Your body turned to an empty aisle on your right, positioning the camera to the view that you particularly like. 

_"When you're confident enough, try shooting without looking at it."_

You couldn't even get the lighting right, but you figured closing your eyes momentarily would be fun. You turned your head away from both of your hands with your eyes closed.

"3, 2, 1."

_Click!_

_Whirrr_

Your eyes fly open. Placing the camera on the counter, you snatched the film from the photo eject slot, eager to take a look at the random shot. The gleam of excitement in your eyes slowly dissipated when you recognize the figure that was caught on the photograph. The sides of the photo displayed the golden aura of the bookstore as though it was an unintentional light leak. With the flash from the camera centered, your intention was to take a shot of the bookshelves from the aisle. It seems as though it was a perfect coincidence that a familiar figure wearing a light blue denim jacket, exiting the aisle while holding a stack of books with his head bowed down was caught right at the moment of the photograph. 

"Yo, [Nickname]-chan! I didn't expect to see you here in Tokyo." 

Your eyes twitched in anxiety when you hear the familiar gravelly voice you had come to miss throughout your stay in Tokyo. You pursed your lips, slowly lowering your hands flat on the counter, concurrently lifting your head to meet the eyes of your customer. 

_He looks more mature despite being only two months in college._

His hazel eyes bore into yours, hair tousled as if on purpose, and both his hands carrying four thick books. You couldn't muster up a reply, you could only look at him anxiously as if the words are stuck in your throat. 

He chuckled, catching you off guard. The familiar feeling of heaviness and void settled in your chest. It was as if the butterflies in your stomach from when you used to feel romantic exhilaration threatened to tear your heart up in pieces.

"Well, of course, I should have. You're studying in Todai after all," he continued, giving you a soft smile. You fought the urge to frown, instead, giving him back the same energy. "Hey, Katsu-kun! I should be the one telling you that. I didn't expect you here," your honeyed voice uttered, giving him a half-hearted smile. He snickered playfully, placing the books on top of the varnished wooden counter.

"Yeah well, I just needed some help from auntie." 

You trained your eyes on the books, pulling it closer to you. "Ah, so you pushed Mechanical Engineering huh? That's nice," you drawled in awe. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "Yeah, after all those nights filled with such worry on what I should choose as my degree program." 

You turned to the computer cashier to your right and began inputting each book, carefully analyzing the title. "You know, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, [Nickname]-chan," he spoke. You paused in your actions for a split second before laughing it off, "Come on, Katsu-kun. You gotta start crediting yourself too, no?" You chirped, waving your hand in front of him. 

"Maybe you're right, [Nickname]-chan, but I just want to thank you." 

You couldn't think of a proper response that doesn't include bursting out your repressed emotions. "Well? Where do you study now?" You asked, getting the second book from the pile. "Ah. Kyoto Institute of Technology. The curriculum for Mechanical Engineering there is impressive. I'm quite enjoying it, I also get to choose subjects that aren't aligned with the curriculum."

You whistled in wonder, "That's cool, Katsu-kun."

The male laughed playfully, "You're way cooler than me, Todai-san," he joked to which you replied with a hearty laugh. You took the third book in your hand. "Of course I am, I knew that since our first year." You begin typing in the details of the book.

"Geez! Just because you scored a point higher than me in our finals!" He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Well, it was a bet after all. And I still won," you asserted, a smirk painted on your lips.

"Whatever." He playfully pouted to the side. You turned your attention to the last book on the counter. You froze at the title of the book. " _Essentials of Sociology: A Down-To-Earth Approach?"_ You mumbled under your breath. Taking the book in between your hands, you glance up at him and raised a brow at him. "Oh, I'm taking up a Sociology subject," he replied rather bluntly.

You furrowed your brows, "You just told me that you're able to pick general subjects that you want."

"Yup."

Your confusion began to deepen the line between your brows, your body swiftly turning to the screen, typing in the title of the book. "I took that because I know you took up Sociology in college, despite your love for photography and films," he straightforwardly explained, shoving both of his hands down his pocket. Your hand withdrew from the keyboard before you realize what you were doing. You turned to the counter when you hear him place the exact bill. You snatch the bill from the surface. "Is that the reason why you're here?" You muttered, pressing the keys again deftly. "What? Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," he said apologetically. You sighed, opening the cash register and placing the bill inside, turning to him, and closing it in the process.

The sound of the receipt exiting filled the silence, "Did you came here from Kyoto to ask my mother for help?" You asked. He pursed his lips before nodding, "Wasn't expecting the subject to be difficult." He chuckled half-heartedly, slowly trailing off. He averted his gaze to the side, "But honestly..." He muttered while you take a paper bag from the underside of the counter, "I came to Tokyo to see you, [Nickname]-chan." 

You tore the receipt from the machine swiftly, trying to mask up the frustration bubbling inside of you. "I asked auntie where you would be found today, totally expecting that you would be in class and I was just putting my hopes up. But when she told me that you don't have any classes today, I was so glad and excited that I dashed my way here. I was so anxious to meet you that I ended up roaming the store for 15 minutes..." He trailed off. You remained silent.

"I just want to apologize for everything that has happened between us," he continued as you placed the books inside the bag. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you know that. I just didn't want it to get worse from that on. I wasn't ready for a relationship, [Nickname]-chan."

Your heartbeat paced from the resentment building in your chest. You take a piece of tape from the dispenser and attached the receipt to the bag. You closed your eyes momentarily, inhaled, and released a deep breath. "It's okay Katsu-kun. You don't have to explain. I'm okay now," You reply, boring into his sincere hazel eyes while giving him a half-hearted smile.

"A-are you sure—" 

"Hey, I got a photo of you in my polaroid," you spoke, purposely cutting him off, taking the film from the side, and handing it out to him. "Here. As a souvenir from Tokyo." You smiled cheerfully at him but your eyes were hollow. He shook his head, his hands waving across him, "No, no! It's okay. Keep it. I wasn't able to bring you anything back home so let that be the symbol."

"Katsu-kun, I insi—"

"I insist, [Nickname]-chan."

You blink confusedly at him and before you can retaliate, he took a hold of the paper bag on the counter. "I'm glad that I traveled to see you so well in college." He beams widely at you. "And I see that you're not busy today, I was hoping we could get some ice cream for old time's sake."

Your body slightly froze at his words before you regain your composure, "Sorry." You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly and chuckled, "I'm not allowed to leave the store by any means." 

"Ah, that's unfortunate," he said, placing his free hand on the pocket of his jacket. "Well, I'm sorry to bother you, [Nickname]-chan. I might roam around Tokyo for a while before catching my train later. It's really good to meet you again." He stuck his hand out again. You shot a glance at it before hesitantly taking it, gripping it firmly.

Like old time's sake. "

Yeah, same goes here."

As soon as the bell chimed, giving you the signal that he exited the building, your body slumped against the countertop and you let out a distressing groan.

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

Kuroo tousled his hair as he entered the apartment, delighted that he isn't worn out from all of the subjects from today. Even pleased that his professor for his last class, Introductory Experiments in Chemistry, isn't available today resulting in him coming home earlier than expected. He cocked his head to the side when he is met with an empty apartment, no roommate hunched over the table, you aren't drooling on your futon with your reading materials to the side, and the bathroom was unoccupied. He blinked in confusion as he removed his shoes, placing it on the rack. "Uh... I'm home...?" He called out. Despite the small space of the apartment where each corner of the home is visible, he still hoped that his roommate would pop out of the dresser or something.

"Oh," You say, sticking your head inside the apartment from the balcony, your hands pulling the curtain to the side. "Welcome home!" You exclaimed before turning back to whatever you were doing at the balcony, letting the curtains fall to its place. Kuroo raised a brow before realizing that today's Friday, which meant that they get to hang out from their conversation yesterday. He shrugged off his bag, placing it atop the table, and padded through the small expanse of the room. He pulled the curtain to its side, revealing your figure sitting on a tall wooden stool with your small black round Bluetooth speaker with a black rope tied to its end placed on top of another wooden stool opposite from you.

"You're home early," you spoke, your eyes focused on the buildings.

Kuroo nodded, "My professor for the last subject wasn't available."

" _SUGAR_ by _BROCKHAMPTON_? You found the leaked version too?" He asked entering the balcony, taking the speaker off the stool.

You nodded, "Yeah. You can tie the speaker on the clothing rack behind the stool." 

Kuroo faced the empty rack and began securing the rope of the speaker onto it. When he was satisfied, he took a seat on the stool right across his roommate and pulled the sleeves of his black sweatshirt up to his elbow. The both of you sat without exchanging words with each other. The breeze of the night gently brushing against their skin, the sight of dimly lit windows from buildings littered the honey and cobalt sky. He placed his elbow on the railing, his cheek resting on the palm of his hand, relishing in the heavenly moment.

Just two good friends sitting under the sky, listening to good music as the two of you bask in the presence of each others' comfort. He wondered how he could be so lucky to live with a roommate who has the same music taste as him and could coexist in the same space as him? On top of that, the rent is low and the place is all he could ever ask for. Kuroo let out a small smile, his eyes continued to gaze the lights from the buildings. 

The fragile and vulnerable episode was completely shattered when your speaker decided to play a sentimental song, your eyes shooting towards the speakers in shock. He removed his cheek from the palm of his hand and turned to you, " _Nikes_? Frank Ocean?" He asked.

You gulped anxiously, "Yeah. But this version has KOHH in it."

Kuroo widened his eyes at your reply, "Oh this version is going to hurt like a motherfucker," he muttered, fear lacing his voice.

As soon as the artist began singing, you take out something from the pocket of your gray hoodie. Kuroo squinted his eyes, trying to make out of the appearance of what you just pulled out. 

"Do you mind if I smoke?" You asked, opening the box of cigarettes, pulling a stick out. He blinked in shock, pursing his lips before shaking his head hesitantly, "Nah, it's okay. Go ahead," he replied, watching you place the cancer stick in between your lips, lighting it up with the red lighter on hand. "Do you want one?" You asked, gesturing for him to take one, "No, I don't smoke. Thanks," he said, his hands waving in front of him. You snickered, "As expected from the pre-med student."

He continued to gaze at you, your chest inhaling, and your fingers taking the cigar off your lips before exhaling the smoke off away from Kuroo. "I didn't know you smoked, [Name]," he drawled, watching you gaze off the sky longingly. You glanced at him through the corner of your eyes before returning your attention to the sky, "I don't." 

He cocked his head in confusion, "It's my first time to smoke."

"Where'd you got it then?" He asked, resting his cheek back to the palm of his hand. "My senior at the photography association gave me this last Wednesday before we went grocery shopping," you replied. Kuroo shaped his mouth into an 'o' and nodded, figuring that it was your upperclassman that you were talking to while he called you back then. He was about to divert his attention from the sickening smell of the cigarette smoke to the buildings again until your sniffling caught his attention.

He whipped his head towards your direction and saw you shakily taking the stick out of your lips, and exhaling the smoke, wiping the tears streaming on your cheeks with the back of your hand.

"O-oi! Are you—" He was cut off when you gave an OK Gesture with your left hand, before continuing to wipe the tears away. You shakily handed out a photo to Kuroo to which he complied, taking the photo from you. You placed your left hand on your lap as you continued to inhale. 

He studied the photo in between his fingers, admiring the beauty and rawness of the shot. He was about to compliment you until you spoke, "He was here at the bookstore earlier, Kuroo. He visited out of nowhere."

 _Oh. It's him huh. The guy that broke [Name]'s heart._ He thought to himself.

He placed his hands on his lap and watched you calm down from your sudden breakdown, your eyes staring at the sight before you with a yearning desire. "He told me that he visited Tokyo just to say thank you and apologize to me."

Kuroo furrowed his brows in confusion, "Thank you for...?" He trailed off, you turned your stare at Kuroo, tears still threatening to escape the corner of your eyes, "For helping him choose his degree program when we were in high school," you said bitterly.

"And sorry for...?"

"For hurting my fucking feelings."

"Oof."

"He's from Kyoto, man," you said, pursing your lips to avoid bursting out shaky words. "Why would he sit on a train for 5 hours just to say that bullshit!? He wasn't even sorry at all!" You exclaimed, placing the stick back in your mouth, inhaled, and puffed out a cloud of smoke. "He told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship."

"He's ready for a relationship, just not with you," Kuroo said bluntly, without processing the words in his head first which caught him by surprise, anxious that you will burst out in tears again. "Exactly!" You say, nodding.

"We were _so_ close to being in love!" You turn your eyes to the sight in front of you again. Your left hand gripped on your hoodie tightly, your brows knitting in frustration, you sighed, "But I guess I was the only one in love between the two of us."

You blinked profusely to avoid the tears escaping again, placing the cigar back in your lips and exhaled the smoke out. You shake your head in disapproval, "We're so unfortunate with our romantic life huh, Kuroo?" You said with a soft half-hearted smile painting your lips. Kuroo chuckled, "Maybe that's why we're roommates," he said cockily. "Yeah, maybe." 

There was a brief pause between the two of you.

"Or maybe I just chose you over that annoying girl as a roommate," you continued.

"Oi! Rude!"

You giggled at his reply. He felt lighter when he finally hears your laughter, letting out a small smile on his lips. You shake your head again, averting your gaze to the light from the cigarette. "I don't know why it still hurts, Kuroo," you whispered, your hands slightly trembling before placing the stick back on your lips. "It's been over since graduation. We already have our closure. Our story is finished and I vowed to myself to never cry again over him." Kuroo could only listen to your words.

"But when I saw him earlier, it still hurt in my chest. Seeing him pained me." You inhaled again and exhaled a puff of smoke, "But honestly," you pursed your lips, turning your stare at the sky, "It hurts way less now compared from before. Maybe..." You scoffed to yourself, "Maybe, what I'm feeling right now is the bits and pieces of pain that were left from us before." You turn to your roommate sitting across you, locking gazes with him, and your lips curved into a smile with a hopeful glint in your eyes.

"I could only wish for the healing of our hearts, [Name]," Kuroo said, reciprocating the soft smile.

For a whole minute, the two of you sat in silence staring at the sky, with your occasional inhaling and exhaling, your sniffles and Kuroo's calm breathing. The two of you gazed into the sight in front of you, grateful for the night gust kissing your skins. When KOHH's part played, you cleared your throat, catching your roommate's attention, his eyes focusing on yours. Your lips curved into a soft smile while you stubbed the end of the cigar on the railing. Your eyes escaped a few tears and you wiped it with the back of your hand before tossing the used cigarette to the trash can beside you. 

Kuroo smirked at you, you locked gazes with him and smiled, "I broke down in front of you, Kuroo. It's a tie now between the two of us," you say followed by a hearty laugh. He snickers at your words, rolling his eyes playfully. "Oh, that reminds me. How's your burn going?" You asked him, glancing at his left hand. Kuroo showed the burn on his hand while you examine it curiously, "Well it's healing slowly and I think it will leave a scar," he said.

"Eh, how do you train in volleyball then?" You asked him, "I just endure the pain, I sometimes take painkillers when the ball hits the hand way too hard," he replied, eliciting a nod from you. Kuroo snickered at the sudden silence between the two of you, "Well, here's to moving on then!" He grinned.

"Here's to more moments with my stupid roommate, Kuroo Tetsurou."

"Oi! Why are you extra rude today?!"


	8. eight

**_June_ _2019_ **

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Saturday** _

Soft pitter-patters tapped on the glass door of the balcony, sunlight shining through the gray sheet of clouds. The faint humming of the ceiling fan filled the room, releasing cool wind that gives you and your roommate a sense of relaxation as you lay in your respective futons. The drizzle and peeking sunlight from the outside made it harder for the two of you to rouse from your deep sleep. Until the insistent ringing of Kuroo's alarm resonated across the small room. The two of you shuffled under your sheets and groaned. Kuroo, still with his eyes closed, patted around the futon in search of his phone to snooze the alarm. A second later, an even louder ringing from your phone reverberated the walls of the apartment. The two of you sit up from your mattresses, dismiss your alarms, and followed by mindlessly staring at the apartment walls. Still drowsy from sleep, you shot a glance at the glass door and marveled at the sight, "It's bright outside but it's raining." 

Kuroo followed your gaze, his back slouched, and a yawn escaping his mouth. He looked down at his crotch and murmured a soft, "Oh." You didn't spare a glance towards him as he removed the blanket from his body and stood up, "I'm fucking hard."

"That's what you say first thing in the morning?" You grunt, rolling your eyes at his vulgar words. Kuroo padded his way towards the bathroom and snorted, "Good morning." 

You huffed and stood from your futon, deliberately arranging both of your mattresses in place. A flush could be heard from the bathroom followed by Kuroo exiting the toilet with his hand scratching his bare hip. "You go first, I'll make breakfast. I'm hungry as fuck," he yawned, searching through the fridge. 

The morning was nothing out of the ordinary besides the drizzle from the outside. The sizzling from the pan is canceled out when the day-old rice is tossed in. Then the high-pitched whistling from the kettle died down as Kuroo removed it from the heat, pouring water into the two mugs with instant coffee. Perhaps what's out of the ordinary is the fact that this particular morning is one of the few times that the two of you actually shared and hung out with. He softly sighs as he removes the pan from the heat and proceeds to put the fried rice into your plates. Just as he was finished stirring up your coffee, you exited the bathroom, already fully clothed, and sat on the dining chair. 

The two of you begin chowing down on your food in silence until you speak up, "You have practice today, don't you?" Kuroo nodded in response and sipped on his coffee. "I have to work on my serves today, which might be a challenge if my burn acts up." He places his mug down on the table, "How about you? A whole day at work?" He asked. "Yeah. Might be extra busier today since it's the first Saturday of the month." 

He cocked a brow at the information, "What's up with the first Saturday of the month?" He asked eliciting a shrug from you.

"Usually at this time, students from the university flock the bookstore for whatever reason."

You take a sip on your coffee. Silence filled the air as both of you continued to focus on the meal. The light raining had stopped and the clouds cleared, the sunlight peeking through the curtains is as bright as ever. "What time is it?" Kuroo asked, realizing that if he gets late, Yaku will certainly beat the living daylights out of him. You glance at your wristwatch before turning to him, "It's just 6:31. Calm down," you assure, finishing up your meal. You stand from your seat and placed the empty plate on the sink, Kuroo followed suit before he went towards the dresser. "I'll go down first, we'll be opening in a few minutes," you called out, slipping on your sneakers with only your phone and wallet on hand. Kuroo waved his hand as he rummaged through the closet, "Sure, take care."

**_Mikazuki Bookstore,_** _ **Hongō**_ ** _,_** _ **Bunkyō**_ ** _City, Tokyo_**

You trotted down the stairs, shoving your wallet in the back pocket of your jeans. As soon as the familiar golden ambiance is at sight, your jogging slowed down and you padded your way through the counter. "Oh, Mikazuki-san!" You exclaimed, taken aback that the owner of the bookstore is at home on a weekend. "Good morning," you greet the owner, standing across the counter with her hands behind her back. "Good morning, [Surname]-chan," she warmly greets, turning to you, "I am glad that you are here earlier than expected." She gives you a soft smile. "Why is that, Mikazuki-san?" You asked, peeking through the glass doors of the bookstore, expecting that someone would arrive. "The new books will be delivered in a few minutes," she replied, following your gaze at the door. Your lips shaped an 'o' and nodded in response.

The owner of the apartment and bookstore is a youthful woman in her late 50's with already graying roots but the ends of her hair have been dyed a natural shade of black. Brown liver spots dotted around her cheeks and forehead, deep smile lines around her mouth, and wrinkles around her eye and forehead area. 

"You're not going to the hospital today, Mikazuki-san?" You ask as you enter the counter. "Oh I'll be going, I'm just going to wait for the deliveries today," Mikazuki replied, "You know my husband, he needs to be accompanied most of the time." She giggled at the thought of her husband while you booted up the computer cashier. "Won't there be any nurses there though?" You ask, logging in the computer and setting it up. "He just doesn't want to be taken care of by the nurses. Such a stubborn man, I swear." Mikazuki chuckled, leaning on the wooden counter behind her. "Oh, the delivery men are already here. Sweetheart, [Surname]-chan, would you take care of them? Looks like there's a new young man in the delivery team today," she said with intentions lacing her voice. 

The chimes from the door rung, catching your attention, and turning to the direction. "Excuse me," the younger delivery man with average height, black hair, and a well-built body entered the bookstore, a clipboard in hand. You exit the counter and glance at the older woman, "You go ahead and take the orders," Mikazuki urged, her hands swaying in encouragement. You nod in response and walk towards the male by the doorstep, "Good morning!" You greeted the delivery man with a smile on your face.

"Good Mor—"

The delivery man stopped in shock as soon as he met eyes with you, his eyes widening. "..Ning," he trailed off, his mouth slowly falling agape. You blink confusedly at him, cocking your head to the side. He remained frozen in his place, eyeing your figure. You imitate his actions when you realize his face seemed familiar. "Wait, we're in the same block, right?" You asked eliciting a nod from the male. "You're in class AB Sociology 01-103 too. Right...?" You continued, making him nod again.

"Woah! That's so cool, I never knew you're also a part-time worker. Well...hi! I'm [Surname] [Name], I sometimes take care of the bookstore," you greeted, sticking your hand out. "H-Hi, I'm N-Nagasawa Hiro. This is actually my f-first time to deliver here in this particular bookstore. The books that you ordered from two weeks ago is within our hands, [S-Surname]-san," he stammered, slowly taking your hand, and pressing it. You grasp on his hand firmly and shaking it before releasing your grip.

"Here is the list of your orders, [Surname]-san," Nagasawa said, handing you the clipboard. You shoved a hand down on the pocket of your jeans before taking the clipboard. You flipped through the pages, carefully analyzing each quantity and price. 

Footsteps from the stairway echoed across the store, but you were too busy studying the orders to pay any attention. Nagasawa peeked over your shoulder to check out the noise. "It seems the list is correct as it is. Where do I sign, Nagasawa-san?" You asked him, showing him the clipboard. "Oh," he returned his attention to you and flipped to the last page, his right hand snatching the pen that was resting on his uniform pocket. He handed the pen to you and within seconds, you signed the paper. "Thanks, Nagasawa-san! Really cannot believe that you're in the same block as me," you beam, handing back the clipboard to him. The sight of your smile caused his heartbeat to rapidly pace, "N-No worries, [Surname]-san!" He acknowledged, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He sideglanced outside and noticed that the boxes are already resting by the sidewalk brought by his coworker.

"Would you like me to bring the books in, [Surname]-san?" He offered.

"Oh, it would be wonder–" 

"Nope, I'll do it."

The two of you spun your heads to the direction of the voice. "You cocky son of a bitch," you smirk, eyeing your roommate place down his sports bag on top of the counter. Mikazuki just stood by the side, observing the scene unravel in front of her with interest, her arms folded across her chest. Kuroo stepped closer to Nagasawa, almost towering him. The shorter male trembled at his height, obviously intimidated by Kuroo. "Let him do his job, you show off," you snicker, repressing your laughter with the back of your hand. He darted his gaze to you and back at the male, "Well I could help him out, right?" He said with a cocky smirk plastered on his face, rolling the sleeves of his jacket up to his forearms. He brushed passed Nagasawa, your eyes widen at a certain memory.

"What about your burn!?" You called out worriedly. Kuroo waved a hand in the air dismissively.

"Oi, [Surname], open the door for me," your roommate called out. You rolled your eyes in annoyance as he exited the building. "I'm so sorry for his behavior," you say to Nagasawa. You inched towards his ear and whispered, "He's a child. Forgive him." You head towards the glass door and pulled it open for Kuroo who was carrying two stacks of boxes inside the bookstore. 

Nagasawa bid his goodbye when Mikazuki had already told him that Kuroo could handle bringing the boxes in.

As Kuroo brought in the last set of boxes, he leaned on the counter in exhaustion and shot you a smirk. You raised a brow at him cockily. "You're so boastful," you joked, folding your arms across your chest, and shifting your weight to your other foot. He rested his elbows on top of the counter and shrugged, "I just like helping other people 'ya know?"

You rolled your eyes at the banter, your grin widening "Whatever, Kuroo. For a second there I thought you were going to terrorize that good man," you said, walking to the pile of boxes, opening each for inspection. "Me?" He gasped exaggeratedly, a hand on his chest, "I would never!" He exclaimed, pulling the sleeves of his jacket down. You released a hearty laugh at his remark. You begin to take the books out of the boxes and place them on their respective shelves. A moment later, the taller male decides to help you out with your job.

Kuroo hummed, "I'm pretty good at this, don't you think?" He drawled.

"Hmm... I don't know about that," you replied, raising a brow at him.

"I could steal your job, [Name]."

You turn to him with wide eyes and mouth agape, "You already get financial assistance from the university! Fuck off, get your own job!" 

Kuroo guffawed at your words, "I was just kidding!" 

"I wasn't expecting the two of you to be so close."

"Huh?"

The two of you turn your attention to Mikazuki, who is watching your banter earnestly with a soft smile on her lips, "I wasn't expecting that the two of you would actually get along," she said followed by a chuckle. "You guys seem like two good friends now."

The two of you exchanged glances before turning back to the older female, "Well we have no choice, really," the two of you said in sync before turning to each other and glaring at each other playfully. Mikazuki laughed, "You two remind me of my children."

"You have children, Mikazuki-san?" Kuroo asked.

"Well yes, haven't I told you about them?" She replied. "All we know is your husband, and that's all we know about you, Mikazuki-san. Right, Kuroo?" You turn to him and he nodded in response.

Mikazuki hummed, "What do you want to find out, then? My children or my husband?"

"Husband, please!" The two of you said, almost exclaiming, both your dominant hands raised in the air. Mikazuki chuckled at the actions, "I don't know what else to tell you, what do you really want to know, huh?"

"Is it really alright for us to talk about something so personal, Mikazuki-san?" Kuroo asked her. "Oh, my son, it's alright! Just ask away. Go ahead," she encouraged. You two exchanged glances before you decided to speak up, "Why is your husband at the hospital? When will he go out?" 

Mikazuki sighed longingly, "He had a stroke three months ago before the school year started. He was released four days after the hospitalization but a week later, he had another one. This one is much stronger than before which required him to stay longer in the hospital. However, just as he was about to be released, there was another dialysis that was revealed to us." She stared at the books longingly, she turned her gaze to the two of you, "Lung cancer. We both expected it, considering how he would smoke during our days," she sighed "I can't take care of him alone here, so he's staying at the hospital for a while now, but he'll be out soon." Her gaze to the two hardened, "That's why I'm asking you two to never smoke. Ever. You hear me, kids?" She said firmly, darting her stare at the two of you. "Strictly no smoking in this apartment."

The two of you nodded and as soon as Mikazuki tore her gaze from the two, both of you looked at each other with widened eyes. Kuroo placed his thumb over his neck and slid across it, mouthing the words, "You are so dead, [Name]," and pointing at you afterward. You place a hand on your temple, shaking your head in anxiety. As the two of you begin to silently panic, a loud ring from a phone filled the room. "Oh, shit. I have practice today. Yaku would kick my fucking ass until it's sore," Kuroo muttered, snatching his bag off the counter before rushing outside without bidding the two females goodbye. The two of you stared at the door blankly.

"He's a weird boy, isn't he, [Surname]-chan?" 

"Oh, you haven't seen the worse of it, Mikazuki-san."

_**Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

Your shift ended a lot later than usual due to the huge volume of customers, while Kuroo's practice ended earlier than your shift. You stretch your arms in the air as you walked slowly up the stairs. Groaning in relief, your eyes glued to the screen of your phone while you scroll through a photo and video sharing social media application. You released a yawn, reaching to the doorknob of your apartment until a song from the inside pricks up your ears. You slowly leaned towards the door, pressing an ear against the wooden surface. "What the fuck, Kuroo..." You muttered under your breath, removing yourself away. You blinked confusedly at the door, wondering what you should do until an idea popped up, your lips curving into an evil grin. Your hands slowly turn the doorknob, pushing the door open, careful that it won't make a noise. Your left hand tapped the camera icon on your phone, and you slowly entered the apartment room, leaving the door open behind you. You adjusted your camera to Kuroo's figure and began to hit record.

Your eyes sparkled with mischief while your roommate is completely unaware of your actions. You knew that Kuroo listened to Hip-hop and that the two of you shared the same favorite artists. But it never dawned to you that Kuroo is a fan of the famous South Korean girl group, TWICE.

Let alone he is _dancing_ to one of their newest releases, 'Fancy'. His body continued to sway at the chorus of the pop song with him yelling out fan chants every now and then.

You unintentionally released a snicker when he yelled, "Momo, I love you!" Within seconds, Kuroo froze in his place, a shiver running down his spine. He whipped his head towards the direction and found you at the corner of the room recording him. 

He let out a high-pitched shriek, a horrified look all over his face as he agitatedly took his phone from the television rack. You, on the other hand, continued filming and guffawing at his actions. Kuroo shakily pressed the next button of the streaming application, sighing in relief until multiple girls yelled "TWICE!" from the speaker again. He let out a shrill cry in horror as he realized that the song is "What is Love" by the same girl group. You cackled loudly at his attempts to change the song, his hands shakily pressing next again and to his relief, it played 'Starboy' by The Weeknd and Daft Punk.

He sighed in relief, his knees trembling, and falling to the floor, a wild blush spreading across his face. "D-Delete that shit, [Name]. Please," he muttered, his soul almost leaving his body. You could only continue laughing in response, a hand holding your stomach.


	9. nine

_**Temporary Gymnasium, University of Tokyo–Komaba Campus, Meguro City, Tokyo – Sunday** _

"Oi, Kuroo. You alright?" A voice snapped him out of his thoughts while he was taping his fingers, he tilted his head upwards and met with gentle brown eyes. Smirking at him and raising a brow, he spoke, "Of course I am, Sawamura-kun, what makes you say that I am not?" 

Daichi's eyebrow twitched in irritation, "Well you've been taping your fingers and your burn for a while now. You might want to leave more tape for the rest of us," he snarkily retorted. Kuroo flinched in surprise and paid attention to his fingers, realizing that he used up almost half of the tape. "Fuck," he muttered apologetically under his breath, cutting off the tape with his teeth before handing it to Daichi. The male took the tape from him and observed his teammate fumbling on tidying his tape job. 

His lips escaped a few grunts, clicking his tongue in impatience, and forgetting about Daichi's presence. Daichi raised a brow at him curiously, "Are you seriously alright? You've been out of it the whole day," he worriedly asks, his brows furrowed while sitting beside him on the bench.

The squeaks of rubber soled-shoes sliding across the polished wooden floor filled the gymnasium alongside with the occasional shouts from their team members playing a volleyball game on the court. Kuroo sighed, tilting his head up to gaze at the high ceiling of the gym along with the lights almost blinding him, squinting his eyes in defense. Daichi waited for his response as he drank on his tumbler, his eyes trained on Kuroo who seem to be deep in thought.

Kuroo met eyes with him and pouted, "S-saw... Record... Twice..." He mumbled inaudibly, Daichi could only furrow his brows deeper, "What?"

He pouted more, a light pink hue tinting his cheeks. "Room... Record... Last night... Twice..."

Daichi placed his tumbler on the bench in annoyance and slammed his hands on his lap, "Kuroo, speak up. I can't understand what you're saying you know," he grumbled. 

"Ugh! My roommate saw me dancing to TWICE and recorded it!" Kuroo blurted, a wild shade of red tinting his cheeks, hands balled into fists, and his eyes shut in embarrassment. The gym fell silent, all eyes fixated on Kuroo. He glanced cautiously around the gymnasium, conscious that everyone will just burst into laughter. His eye twitching in anxiety as the silence went on, his hands relaxing from the grip. 

Yaku and Oikawa stared at him from the other side of the court with their mouths agape, surprised that he made a scene in the midst of a game from their upperclassmen. Oikawa then snorted before bursting out in laughter. The student-athletes darted their stare back and forth from Oikawa to Kuroo. "Kuro-chan embarrassing himself in front of [Surname]-chan? Golden!" He exclaimed, pointing a finger to the taller male, his right hand clutched on the volleyball pressing it forward on his stomach. "Woah!" Bokuto yelled, "So manly!" 

Oikawa raised a brow at him, "What's so manly about that, dummy?" He asked, tossing the volleyball lightly in the air. The players seem to get over the scene and resumed their activities. The whistle from the coach blew, signaling them to get back with their lives. Kuroo sighed in relief, returning his attention to Daichi who just gave him a warm smile, "Why are you so embarrassed about that?" He raised a brow.

Kuroo scrunched his brows in confusion, "I have every right to be embarrassed over that, Sawamura-kun. And what if she posts that on the university forum?! I'm going to _die_ ," he insisted. "Well yeah," Daichi said, returning his gaze to their seniors playing a volleyball game on the court. Kuroo gasped exaggeratedly at his response. "But I don't think [Surname]-san will post such a video that would ruin your reputation. She seems like an all too nice person to even think about that," he assured the taller male. Kuroo pursed his lips in contemplation, scratching his cheek sheepishly. He huffed, resting his elbows on his knees. Snickering, he glanced behind at Daichi who began to stand up and stretch his arms. He eyed him up and down before darting his gaze back to their upperclassmen.

"Yeah, you're probably right. My roommate won't do that." 

Daichi scoffed at him, "I know your roommate more than you do, huh?" He teasingly said. Kuroo whipped his head towards him, "Oh, shut up!" He retorted, standing up, and stretching his arms. Daichi took a stray volleyball rolling on the side, placing it between his hip and right wrist. "I can't help but worry y' know?" Kuroo jokingly drawls, shrugging, "My reputation towards the girls in this university might get tarnished. Oh, Sawamura-kun you just wouldn't understand!"

Daichi formed a tick mark on his temple, tossing the volleyball on the back of Kuroo's head. "Ouch! Sawamura-kun you're so mean!" He whined, massaging the back of his skull, looking at Daichi with teary-eyes. "Get back to practice if you're done with your tape job," Daichi grumbled before walking away. 

**_Metro M Korakuen, Kasuga, Bunkyō City, Tokyo_ **

"Man, I swear. Why do I have to go along with you guys? I wanna go home."

Trudging out of the train carriage with Bokuto's hand gripped around his wrist, Kuroo whined, intentionally placing his heel on the ground to add weight on his body. Despite this, Bokuto continued to drag him with just one hand. "C'mon, you party-pooper! Before all hell breaks loose at the university, let's hang out while we can!" He exclaimed with a wide grin on his face. Kuroo grimaced, placing his left hand on his right shoulder, pressing on the joints. "I feel like my shoulder's gonna tear," he mumbled, frowning. 

It was unusual for the group to go out right after practice, more so Yaku and Daichi agreeing to Oikawa's proposal to drop by the mall at the train station that they are supposed to drop off before going back to their dorms. Despite being a Sunday, the bridge linking the train station towards the mall is filled with people rushing towards the other end. Bokuto struggled to squeeze in between the crowd with Kuroo being dragged behind him, groans, and complaints leaving his mouth. "Oi, you guys! I wanna go home!" He exclaimed, his eyes trained at the back of their heads. "I'm tired already," he whined, letting his head hang, his gaze redirected to the setting sky above them.

Yaku spun his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, and fists balled, "Stop whining, Kuroo! Geez, you're like a child! We'll just be picking up a few stuff then you're free to go home," He scolded him. Kuroo continued to whine, letting Bokuto haul him across the bridge.

"Yeah. We're running out of snacks in our dorm," Daichi sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "Oikawa wouldn't stop feeding off of the gummy bear vitamins at night when the cafeteria is closed." He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, suppressing his laughter. "Sawamura-kun! I told you to keep it a secret!" Oikawa exclaimed, continuously patting his shoulder with a wide frown plastered on his face. "Ew, gummy bear vitamins? Why don't you just get food from the vending machines around the campus?" Yaku grimaced, the thought of snacking on gummy bear vitamins making him shudder in disgust. 

Oikawa faced him with a pink tint on his cheeks, "I don't like going out at night alone! I'm too lazy to go out and Sawamura-kun won't come with me. For some reason, he's not getting hungry at night even with the cafeteria serving!" He glared at Daichi, "Besides, the purple gummy bears taste best," he added, a pout on his lips. Yaku raised a brow at him, still revolted at the idea of snacking on gummy bear vitamins.

"Don't give me that look, Yakkun!" 

"Oh yeah. That reminds me, he was worried that he might overdose on gummy bear vitamins," Daichi said followed by a snicker, "Sawamura-kun, stop exposing me!" Oikawa exclaimed, "You can _barely_ get any vitamins on gummy bear vitamins, Oikawa." Yaku sighed in disappointment.

"You're not a doctor, Yakkun!"

Oikawa huffed and fixed his light blue and white team jacket, combing his hair backward in the process, "Well, I'll be buying lots of snacks today so you guys can shut up about me eating gummy bear vitamins now." 

Kuroo continued to pout, his gaze still fixated on the purple and blue sky, his arm getting pulled by Bokuto who is being oddly quiet. He lifted his head and faced his team again, watching Yaku, Daichi, and Oikawa argue over gummy bear vitamins. "Hey," Bokuto called out, seemingly deep in thought, everyone's attention turned to him, "Is the reason why you want to go home already because of [Surname]-chan?" He asked Kuroo, looking at him through his peripheral vision. 

He furrowed his brows at Bokuto and was ready to ask a follow-up question until Oikawa cut his train of thought off, "Of course, Kou-chan! Kuroo-chan's whining and complaining because he wants to see his beloved [Surname]-chan already. Despite [Surname]-chan liking somebody else." The three raised their brows at Oikawa, waiting for him to continue, "Who is that somebody, you ask? None other than me, of course!" He exclaimed, his thumb pointing to his chest, guffawing in amusement.

Kuroo rolled his eyes at his teammate, "Oikawa-chan, you're really an idiot huh?" He snarled in disgust, Oikawa ignored him as he continued to laugh at the thought of dating Kuroo's roommate.

Bokuto removed his grip from Kuroo's wrist, Kuroo began to slow down his pace and massage his wrist soothingly. As soon as he turned his attention back to his friends, the trio was already up ahead in the mall, heading towards the grocery store. "Oi, guys! Wait up!" He called out, raising his hand and rushing inside.

Pacing towards the grocery store while simultaneously being extra careful not to bump into people, his stride slowed down when a familiar store caught his eye. His body followed the direction towards the store, his feet abruptly stopping when he comes across the sign.

" _Huh_." 

His eyes trailed to the faint glow of the sign, "Never knew there would also be a branch of this shop here," he mumbled to himself, shoving his hands down the pockets of his team jacket. His eyes analyzing the different shades of brown and sizes of stuffed toys displayed at the store. A particularly familiar orange striped stuffed cat is situated on the top shelf of the display, his hands gripping on the insides of his jacket. "I should have kept that to myself or gave that to Kenma instead of giving it to her. What an absolute _idiot_ , Tetsurou," he mutters to himself, shaking his head in disbelief before turning his heel to the direction of his friends.

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

The scent of sausages and eggs wafting through the air, even from the staircase alone, piqued Kuroo's curiosity. His feet dragging himself quickly through the stairs. He turned the doorknob to your shared apartment, swinging it open, the sight of you in front of the stove widens his eyes.

"Woah, [Name], are you really cooking? What a sight," he teased, a smug grin on his face while closing the door behind him. "Shut up, before I chop you up. I'm _so_ fucking hungry, man," you mutter, "Careful, you might burn the house down," he continued, removing his shoes by the doorway, "I'm not that horrible!" You protest, turning off the stove, and setting the food on a plate. "Thanks for making extra," he said, placing his shoes on the rack, before padding his way towards the dining table. "Of course, I'm such a good roomie, no?" You joked, sitting across him. 

Kuroo expressed his gratitude towards the food, taking his portion of rice and meal before digging in. You raised a brow at his quiet behavior, and you began to map out possibilities in your head as to why he seems so quiet. Normally, Kuroo would be loud enough that the people on the 4th floor would be complaining because of his boisterous manner. However, whenever he goes home and he is oddly quiet, he is either:

1\. Stressed from school work.

2\. Exhausted from practice (Although that doesn't _actually_ prove anything since he would still be loud despite being tired).

3\. He has some personal conflict, and usually, it's because of his past girl. 

You press your lips together in contemplation, taking your phone in your hand, and typing something on a music streaming application.

Kuroo shuddered in embarrassment when a familiar melody erupted from your speakers. "[Name], stop that," he whined, sulking, his chopsticks dropping on the side of his plate as his hands covered his face. You giggle, setting your phone down, "What? It's a good song!" You say, shoving food in your mouth. "It's embarrassing!" He protested, his eyes darting from your phone to your amused face. "TWICE is amazing!" You exclaim, a grin plastered on your face.

He pouted and slouched, picking his chopsticks again, "I know," he mumbled, listening along TWICE's _'Yes Or Yes'_. "What, you think I'm going to spread your video across the campus or something?" You teased with a smirk, his breath hitching upon hearing your words, a wild shade of red filling his cheeks.

"W-Wh-Wha– N-No, I- I mean–"

You erupted in laughter at his panicked sight, "I won't do that to you! That's horrible!" You assured, a hand on your mouth to stifle the loud laughter. His cheeks exploding an even deeper shade of red.

"I- I wasn't!–"

"Kuroo, it's okay! Stop forcing yourself to explain anything. I'm sorry," you reply in between giggles, watching him trying to compose himself.

You decided to spare Kuroo from his embarrassment by playing BROCKHAMPTON's _'1999 Wildfire'_ before _'Yes or Yes'_ could even reach its end. He sighed in relief upon hearing the first words from _'1999 Wildfire'_ , his cheeks returning to its normal complexion.

"I'm sorry for embarrassing you, you're just _way_ too entertaining." 

Kuroo waved a hand dismissively, "It's alright," he said, placing a hand on his calming heart.

"You were a great dancer, by the way. Teach me how to dance to TWICE too."

"[Name]!"

"What? I was being genuine!"

"It doesn't look like it!"

"Come on! Just teach me! Isn't your favorite member the lead dancer? Momo, right?"

For the entirety of the dinner, you relentlessly teased Kuroo in an attempt to ease up his tension, your playlist shuffling from BROCKHAMPTON, The Weeknd, and TWICE. 

Kuroo stood up from his seat, taking your plate in hand. You grab his wrist and narrowed your gaze at him. "What?" Kuroo asked, eyeing your sitting figure. You abruptly stood from your seat, snatching both plates in his hand, and headed towards the sink. "Oi, what are you doing?" He asked, following you. You turned to him and walked behind him.

"[Name], what are you—" before he could finish, you're already pushing him towards the bathroom, "Ease up your tension, take a hot shower!" You insisted, pushing Kuroo with your two hands pressed on his back. He pressed his heel harder on the floor in an attempt to stop you from pushing him, "But you like hot showers more! I don't wanna waste—"

"Cold showers are fine for me, just take a hot shower now!"

"But the one who cooked dinner won't wash the dishes!"

You smacked him at the back of his head, "Ow! [Name]!"

"Just do it, Jesus fucking christ!" You demand, pushing him inside the bathroom, swinging the door close. Kuroo placed a foot between the door and the frame, "What now!?" You exclaimed, he peeked his head at the door, "Clothes, please."

"Just get in," you grunt, padding your way towards his part of the wardrobe. Kuroo rested his head between the door and the frame, watching you rummage through his clothes, "Where are your cozy shirts?" You asked.

"The drawer below."

"Shorts?" 

"Drawer beside the shirts."

"Uh..."

"Underwear?" He asked, a smirk gracing his lips.

"Uh, yeah,"

"Bottom most drawer,"

You pulled open the drawer and snorted at the sight, "Really, Kuroo?" 

"What?"

You pulled out a box of condoms from the drawer, a brow raised at him. "Hey, that's just for emergencies!" Kuroo said defensively, a pink hue adorning his cheeks. You hummed in response, taking out a pair of black boxers from his drawer. "I haven't even opened the box! I haven't used a single one!" He added, watching you place back the box inside the drawer, shutting it close, and walked back to his direction with his pile of clothes in your hands.

"I understand," you begin, "College is the biggest cockblock of all, right?"

"[Name], stop being _so_ embarrassing!" 

"We're college students now, this shit is normal to talk about!"

Kuroo isn't sure how long he was taking inside the bathroom, he's been massaging his scalp with your shampoo for over 5 minutes now. His eyes continued to stare at the white tiles of the bathroom, his mind wandering over the thought of the girl that recently broke his heart. Although he did promise and was in the process of moving on, he can't help but wonder how she's doing and all these "What Ifs" linger in his mind. He sighed contentedly, placing his left hand over his right shoulder, relieving the tension on his joints from being pulled by Bokuto earlier. 

"Oh _shit_ ," he blurted, turning the knobs of the shower, "[Name]'s going to kill me," he mumbled in the realization that the scent of your shampoo might stick on his scalp. He went under the warm streaming water, trying to rid of the suds, and lingering scent of the shampoo as much as he can. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, the scent of cigarette smoke lingered in the air of the apartment. He furrowed his brows, gagging at the smell, and placing his towel around his shoulder to catch the dripping water from his hair. He trudged his way towards the balcony, catching your sight listening to ' _BLEACH'_ by BROCKHAMPTON with a cigarette stick in between your fingers. "Smoking again?" He grunted in disapproval, sitting on a stool across you. "Hey, I wasn't judging you when you're dancing along to TWICE when their song was newly released. Honestly, how fast could you copy the choreography?" 

Kuroo groaned, "[Name]," he drawled out disapprovingly. "What?" You asked, taking a hit out of the cigarette, "Stop smoking," he said in a firm tone. "I'm not going to make it a habit, Kuroo," you replied. "Did I stutter?" He asked, rubbing his towel on the back of his head, "Fine, whatever, _dad_ ," you sarcastically reply, stubbing the end of the cigarette at the railing before tossing it out on the trash bin.

The wet sheen on Kuroo's collarbone gleamed under the moonlight, his eyes surprisingly calm compared to the sight earlier, his posture and shoulders free of tension and stress that he was carrying.

"You good?" You asked. leaning on the wall behind you. He made eye contact with you before returning his gaze to the moon. "Yeah, I think," he replied.

"You _think_?" You asked again, lowering the volumes of the speaker.

"I don't know," he sighed. 

"What's up? Wanna talk about it?" Concern lacing your voice.

Kuroo faced you, leaned on the wall behind him, careful not to hit his head on the clothing rack, and directed his gaze on his lap. "I know I promised you that I'm going to move on from... You know who."

You hummed in reply.

"But I just passed by a store earlier that reminded me of her. I don't know. Moving on is harder than I thought," he continued, fiddling with his fingers.

The two of you sat in silence, the song from the speakers the only sound around the apartment. Your eyes traveled at the sight in front of you, appreciating the city lights, a half-hearted smile adorning your face. "Kuroo. Healing isn't a linear process," you softly spoke, your eyes gazing into his figure. Kuroo widened his eyes for a second in realization, sitting up straight again, and gazed into your eyes. "You'll have your ups and downs. Don't be so hard on yourself for healing normally," you continued.

For some reason, perhaps it's the pressure from the volleyball team or the stress from his academics or maybe it's his anxiety over a girl, but tears began to prick his eyes. He inhaled a deep breath, the scent of smoke from earlier punching his senses, causing him to cough unintentionally. His back slouched and a hand pressed his chest, "Oh my god, are you alright?" You asked worriedly, placing a hand over his shoulder, his brows furrowing in anxiety.

Kuroo wiped his lips with the back of his hand and straightened his back. The scent of his hair wafting through the air for a second, "I'm alright," Kuroo said, the tears from earlier disappearing. You furrowed your brows, "Kuroo, did you used my shampoo?" 

He blinked innocently at you, clearing his throat, "Ah. Hm. I-I don't think so. Hehe."

"You are unbelievable."


	10. ten

_**Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Monday** _

The two of you woke to discover that you have 20 minutes left before you would be declared late for your first classes. And it takes at least 15 minutes for you to walk from your apartment to the university, without adding the minutes that you will spend walking around the vast campus.

The two of you carefully paced the wet streets of Bunkyō, at the same time rushing your way to the university; before the heat from the approaching summer could take over the city, drizzles and an expected storm would first blanket the sky. The skies are gloomy, deep gray clouds shrouded over the city. Cars are zooming past by, creating small puddles by the curb, making it harder to trudge on the sidewalk.

Kuroo matched your momentum while you are hunched over a piece of paper, mumbling inaudibly to yourself. It took time for him to coordinate with your speed, considering his lanky legs and athletic skill. He even considered rushing first towards the university since his building is farther compared to yours, which is located right near the university gate. However, the rain from the crack of dawn made it harder for a speeding person to walk through the slippery road, most especially if their attention's glued to something else. So Kuroo took it into account that he look after your stressed figure, avoiding you from tripping and falling on your butt. But the sight of your tousled hair and hunched posture only worries Kuroo more, figuring that you will slip sooner or later.

"Oi," he called out to you, eyeing you through his peripheral view.

Strands of your hair are falling on the sides of your face, pants of breath escaping your lips, and occasional glimpses on your wristwatch as you struggled to multitask on reviewing and running late for class. "Oi," his tone firmer as he called out to you.

"What?" You snarled, your eyes fixated on the paper in front of you.

"Is that paper more interesting than your roommate's face?" He joked with a smug grin stretched across his cheeks.

"Yes," you grumbled, rolling your eyes. Kuroo snickered at your response and turned to you "You know I could have gotten to the university by now, right?" 

"Then go." 

"You might slip on your butt."

"Don't care."

Kuroo raised a brow at your bitter behavior, "What has gotten you all worked up?" He asked. You spun your head to his direction, a deep scowl etched on your face, "We are late to class, Kuroo. My first class is a prerequisite subject and a major one. I have a quiz today in German class and, I have not reviewed the latest lessons yet."

He could sense the pressure and exhaustion radiating from the tone of your voice, his eyes slightly widened at your sudden outburst. You huffed and faced your paper again, straightening it to your sight, "Now if you'll excuse me," you mumble. Before you can focus on your reviewer again, your roommate snatched the paper from your hands, "Hey!"

"Come on, let me help you review while we're at it."

"Can you even pronounce the first word correctly?" You raised a brow at him, shooting a glance at your wristwatch. He pursed his lips as he scanned the first word written on the paper hesitantly.

_What the fuck is a 'weltanschauung'?_

He turned to you and puffed a quick breath, "I bet 'ya I don't, but what kind of quiz is this? A pronunciation quiz?" He asked, waving the reviewer in the air. You sighed, "Grammar and spelling."

"Tell me a word then its spelling, and I'll tell you if it's correct. Then construct a sentence, I'll tell you again if it's correct, sounds good?"

_**Institute of Social Science, University of Tokyo-Hongō Campus, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

"Structured structure structuring structures."

Students tilted their heads in confusion, some furrowed their brows, while some stared blankly at their professor. An audible sigh escaped the professor's lips, her fingers pressing on the bridge of her nose in frustration. She faced the class again, flattening her palms on the table in front of her "Pierre Bourdieu?" She said as if it would ring a bell for anyone, eyeing each student for an answer. The brows of the students only furrowed deeper, and murmurs erupted from the classroom. The professor removed her hands from the table, straightening her posture, letting her hands fall to her sides as she walked past by her table. Her heels clicking on the floor, stimulating the students' anxiety, the murmurs from earlier slowly dying down, all of their gazes glued to their professor in anticipation.

"Can someone in this class explain to me what structured structure structuring structures mean by Pierre Bourdieu?" Her voice boomed across the classroom, the students' heart rates spiking up from her delivery. She continued to walk along the front, her hands going behind her back as she waited patiently for a student to raise their hand. She raised a brow at the class, some started to flip through their notebooks, textbooks, and phones to look for an answer. Her steps halted in the middle of the forefront of the classroom. She eyed each student, observing that each of their own was growing frantic in their minds.

"[Surname]-san."

The whole classroom tensed, the sound of her voice leaving goosebumps on your skin. You were _barely_ able to get in your first class in time, you cannot afford a recitation after such a hectic morning. You glanced to your side, your seatmates sending you an apologetic look as you slowly rose to your seat, gulping down anxiety. "Y-yes?" You croaked, your fingers fiddling with the pages of your notebook. "Explain to the class what structured structure structuring structures mean," your professor instructed.

You pursed your lips in hesitation, heaving a deep breath before gathering all of your ideas in your head. Your mind carefully threading through each word that goes over your head. "Social structures structure the cognitive structures of the individuals in the society, thus the cognitive structures of these individuals affirm the aforementioned social structure," you answered, a small sense of pride swelling up in your chest.

However, before it could bloom into something bigger, your professor blankly stared at you, hitching her glasses upwards. " _Okay_..." She trailed off, unsatisfied with your answer, and raising a brow at you. You felt the weight of your classmates' gaze at you, the pressure slowly sinking through your shoulders. All of you knew that when you received that particular word in response to your recitations, you have to try harder to please the professor. "Is that it?" Your professor asked, giving you a final chance to redeem yourself. You weighed between the options of whether continuing with your recitation or just choosing to stop. Your mind yelling out the latter, but another part of your brain wants to redeem yourself. You glanced at your seatmate and your classmates from the other side of the hall. All of them seem to support your decision to choose the latter option.

You gulped in anxiety before nodding your head, "Y-yes, ma'am," you said, almost a murmur. Your professor gave you one last stare as if giving you a second to change your mind until she turned her heel and started pacing the room again. "Sit down, [Surname]-san."

You sat down abruptly, your hand resting on your chest to calm your racing heart, a sigh escaping your lips. "What you were missing in your answer is perhaps _the most important_ part of the answer itself, [Surname]-san. You even made it harder for your classmates to understand such a simple statement with the way you formulated your sentences," your professor bellowed, her intense gaze burning through holes among the students.

"Habitus."

The students remained silent.

"The cognitive structures as what [Surname]-san has mentioned is called _habitus_. The 'structured structures' or _institutions_ shape our habitus or the way we think. Which, in turn, shapes the institutions. It's one of the most influential theories that Bourdieu has to offer in the field of Sociology. It's a _mistake_ that you forget the exact term."

Her words pierced through your heart, a pang in your chest, and a lump forming in your throat. Your classmates sent an apologetic look at you before focusing their attention on the professor.

"It must be harder for her than the rest of us. The pressure set on her must be massive." You hear your classmate mumble from behind you. You want to click your tongue in frustration until the familiar beeping from the professor's wristwatch echoed among the walls. The professor shot a glance at her wristwatch before heading to her table, "See you on Thursday. Make sure to read your Conflict Theory readings," she spoke as she arranged her belongings before leaving the classroom without another word.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, the students began to converse with each other, different voices filling the hall. You sunk in your chair, huffing a breath with your brows knitted.

"That was harsh."

Your eyes followed the direction of the voice, your gaze meeting your friend's brown ones and blowing raspberries to yourself, "Cheers to an idiot like me," you muttered. Fukuda rolled her eyes at your gesture, sitting on an empty seat beside you, "Come on, sit up straight," she said, pulling your arm. You grunted before fixing your posture, sighing and resting your cheek on the palm of your hand. "She just doesn't hold back from all of the blows thrown at me, huh?" You muttered under your breath. Fukuda rubbed a hand on your shoulder comfortingly, unsure of what to say.

"[S-Surname]-san!" A voice called out, interrupting your thoughts. You turned your head, a soft smile forming on your lips. "Nagasawa-san!" You greeted, your hand waving in the air. "Is it okay if I sit next to you for the next class?" He asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside you, "I notice that you don't have a seatmate every Japanese Contemporary Social Issues class," he continued, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh, sure! My seatmate doesn't take the Social Issues class. I don't mind," you replied as he took the seat beside you. "Who's that?" Fukuda whispered in your ear, "I met him when he was delivering books at the bookstore. It turns out he's our classmate."

"He's cute. I cop him."

"Oh my god, _sure_ Fukuda, whatever you want."

**_Bunkyō City, Tokyo_ **

You tilted your head towards the gray sky, your eyes blinking at the sight. A drop fell on your cheek, and you let out a soft sigh. It's raining again, you thought. It's the kind of rain where you aren't sure if you needed to pull out an umbrella. You decided against it and continued trudging your way home. The sun has already set, and the street lamps lit the way contrasting the slight breeze that the rain has brought. You're sure that your roommate is already at home, but you just don't have the strength to face anyone for the past two hours after your last class ended.

You just cannot believe that you failed your German quiz.

The quiz contained the latest lessons which caught you off guard, but you were sure that you could have passed the test. You were one point away from passing the test, but you managed to misspell a word. A word that Kuroo told you earlier on your way to school.

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing open the glass door, the chimes ringing as you entered. You greeted the person manning the bookstore with a curt nod, to which he gave back. They only called each other by their nicknames based on their universities, not bothering in knowing their real names.

_Todai-chan and Sōdai-kun._

You let out a soft sigh as you dragged yourself up to the stairs, your hands lazily swaying on your sides. Entering the apartment, the scent of curry filled your nostrils. You didn't bother complimenting your roommate's cooking, slowly closing the door behind you, and removing your shoes. "Welcome home," Kuroo only said, placing the cooked curry in between the two plates of rice on the table. You nodded in acknowledgment and sat on the chair, eating silently. Silence ensued between the two of you, Kuroo figured you want to be alone. Judging by your eyes and blank stare, you weren't up for a conversation.

You were the first to finish your meal. You lazily stood up, the chair skidding across the wooden floor, and went to your wardrobe. You took a shower, and just as Kuroo was about to go to bed, you slid open the balcony doors and shut them. He knew that you would be taking another cigarette. He shakes his head disapprovingly before pressing his face in between the pillows, putting himself to sleep. 

You stared at the dark blue sky littered with dark gray clouds passing by. Occasional raindrops falling on your arm, and the cold air creeping in. You huffed a smoke, taking the stick between your fingers and pulling it away from your lips. You made a mental note that the moon had an icy halo around it tonight before it got covered up with the clouds again. 

**_Tuesday_ **

Practice went better than anticipated, Kuroo had gotten better at his serves, and he was playing at his 120%, which earned him praises from the coach. "If I keep this up every training, the coach might eye me for the lineup for sure," he thought to himself. He was more than eager to play as one of the first 12 players representing the university. He didn't mind the train rides to the other campus or the exhaustion brought by training. He was desperate to earn that spot. Even though he was up against Bokuto, one of the top five aces in Japan when they were in high school, or Oikawa, one of the best setters, he didn't mind. He focused on his growth way too much that he didn't have the time to worry about the others chasing up to him.

After practice, the five decided to eat lunch and explore the area around Meguro City. It took a light shower from the clouds that had to cut their trip short. They were playing in an arcade when the sky became relatively darker. It wasn't until Kuroo got home that the rain fell, he considered himself lucky for getting home in time. He walked up the stairs, a light bounce in his steps, showing his delight from the day. Upon reaching his room, his eyes met with yours, exhaustion written all over your features. You tear your gaze away from him and went back to reading, your purple highlighter dragging across the paper.

Kuroo slowly closed the door behind him, only feeling the wave of exhaustion from training and hanging out with his friends wash over him. He leaned on the door for a second, his eyes shut until he let out a sigh, removing his shoes and made his way to the small expanse of the room, heading to the wardrobe before padding his way to shower.

You didn't mind that he didn't acknowledge your presence. You were too engrossed in your readings, and you know he is tired. Kuroo exited the bathroom, only the scribbles of pen and highlighter on paper filled the room, along with his soft footsteps and arranging of his futon. The two of you are too busy and tired to think about the other roommate as of the moment.


	11. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The views of the professor DO NOT reflect my personal views.

_**Institute of Social Science, University of Tokyo-Hongō Campus, Bunkyō City, Tokyo – Wednesday** _

"Let me ask the class right now, are HIV/AIDS positive patients the victim, or are they to blame?"

Those words startled the drowsing class from its usual presentation of reporting; students are murmuring among themselves and glancing at each other in disbelief.

_"Is he for real?"_

_"This is insane. Of course, they're victims!"_

_"Why did he suddenly brought that up?"_

_"Beats me. Their presentation is about the sexual self. I don't know where he got that question."_

You dart your eyes from each corner of the hall, noticing that your classmates are having small discussions over the professor's sudden controversial question. Hushed whispers filled the room, and the professor waited patiently for someone to raise their hand.

The professor is notorious for his opinion on controversial topics, to which the class utterly disagrees. Despite it being a Psychology I subject, the class is nothing more than dull presentations from your classmates assigned by the professor, and heated discussions between the instructor's controversial point of view and the students' urge to persuade his mindset. At first, you looked forward to every Wednesday of the week since you only had three classes for the day instead of the usual four classes filled with major subjects. However, as the professor slowly revealed his problematic viewpoint, you deemed Wednesdays as troublesome.

A student from the other side of the hall raised her hand, the class falling into silence when she stood to her feet. "Sir, I believe that HIV/AIDS positive patients are victims since they never really wanted to have the virus in the first place—" 

"But they _still_ had consensual sex, didn't they?"

Disturbed that she got cut off, she sat down to her seat and prayed that someone continues her stance. You shoot your hand up, not even bothering to wait for the professor, you stand from your seat, "Not everyone who contracts HIV/AIDS is from consensual sex, sir. Research even showed that high-levels of repeated non-consensual sex leads to HIV/AIDS infection. And sir, what you are saying is promoting the stigma among these patients which in turn—"

"That doesn't answer my question."

You knit your eyebrows in confusion, bothered that he interrupted you mid-sentence, and he cannot put two and two together. You were about to explain yourself further until the professor beckoned you to sit down. Blinking profusely in bewilderment, you slowly sink to your seat with your mouth agape. The feeling of irritation and disgust settles in your chest, wondering how the hell he's teaching at the most prestigious university in the country. He is spreading misinformation and malicious rumors about HIV/AIDS positive victims.

_How is he able to teach hundreds of students with that perspective?_

You clenched your fists in frustration, your purse your lips in an attempt to muffle your curses. You release your grip and begin clawing on your jeans. "With all due respect sir," you whip your head towards the direction of the familiar voice, "I think what [Surname]-san wants to say is HIV/AIDS positive patients are victims. Most especially that not all of them contracted the virus from consensual sex," Nagasawa said, shooting a glance in your direction.

"Is that so?" Their professor trailed off, raising a brow at the black-haired boy. Nagasawa remains firm despite the questioning gaze he is receiving from the professor, "Alright. You may take your seat, Nagasawa-san."

He sighs in relief upon sitting down, glancing towards your direction. With your gazes locked, you give him a soft smile, mouthing a "thank you" afterward. Nagasawa feels his heartbeat pace and blood rushing to his cheeks. He merely raised a hand as a way of saying "no problem."

You turn your head back to the front of the class, feeling at ease and glad that someone in the class would at least have your back in times of small discussions with the professor. Despite that, the feeling of irritation towards your instructor remained in your chest.

"I think they are the ones to blame, personally."

You groaned under your breath, regretting that you had to take up a required class with a problematic professor.

Another dreadful two hours passed before the Psychology I class has ended. You wanted nothing more than to eat lunch, stay at the Photography Association's office, and take a nap. But alas, you still have two classes ahead. Your week didn't start well, progressively getting worse each day. It doesn't help that your family keeps pressuring you with your studies. Especially that your family is expecting you to be like one of your parents.

 _Well, the more successful parent that is,_ you thought _._

You sigh as you sling your backpack over your shoulder and pacing towards the exit, wanting to hurry up to the cafeteria.

"Hey! [Surname]-san!" 

You turn your heel and you meet Nagasawa who is beaming at you while waving his hands. "Nagasawa-san, hi! What's up?" You asked as he jogged towards you, "Fukuda-san isn't present today?" He asked. You shake your head in reply, "She woke up late and told me didn't want to see our professor today," you said, eliciting a chuckle from the dark-haired boy.

"Would you like to join me for lunch, though?" You asked him, a smile adorning your lips. He blinked in surprise, a pink hue tinting his cheeks, "O-Of course! Sure!" He stammered with a wide grin stretched across his face. 

The two of you exited the classroom and walked side by side in the hallway, your conversation revolves around your classes and professors. "Was Sociology your first choice, [Surname]-san?" He asked. You nodded in response, "Ever since high school. I didn't have a lot of choices," you replied followed by a light chuckle.

"I figure that would be the case, especially since you're the daughter of such a renowned person," Nagasawa replied, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "How about you, Nagasawa-san? Is sociology your first choice?" You asked him. "No, not really. I was supposed to take up political science but I don't know, something just brought me towards the office of the chairperson in the Sociology department."

You beamed at him, "Fate is working for you, huh. That's cool."

Shuffling of footsteps could be heard from the end of the hallway followed by boisterous chatting, and hushed laughter, catching your attention. Your eyes widen, taken aback at the sight of pre-medical students flocking the hallways of the Institute of Social Sciences. Particularly your roommate is among the crowd, a smile etched on his face as he conversed with his classmate.

_Oh yeah, he has Sociology classes every Wednesday._

You turn your attention back to Nagasawa, "Anyway, Nagasawa-san, have you finished reading our material for tomorrow's quiz in General Sociology?" You asked. Nagasawa furrowed his brows in confusion, the tall guy among the crowd that was nearing the two of you seem familiar to him. If he's not mistaken, he's a friend of yours, he thought.

_I wonder why they aren't acknowledging each other._

"Well, I have. But I still need to go through over it, our professor makes killer tests," he groaned, slouching his back. You chuckled just as you passed by Kuroo's group, not giving him a single glance.

Kuroo barely looked in your direction as well, too engrossed in his conversation with his classmates. Time seemed to pause as the two of you come across each other as if the world is giving the two of you a chance to talk to each other. The two of you ignored the sign and continued striding along the hallway.

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

You are tired of smoking cigarettes on the balcony with the slight breeze creeping in your skin. And yet here you are, doing the same thing that you're tired of doing. You don't know why you keep doing it, despite the disgusting taste of the cancer stick leaving on your lips. Perhaps it was the nicotine intoxicating your brain, slowly killing your chances of regaining yourself from the deliberate addiction. You shake your head, refusing to think about cigarettes on a night like this. You grab your phone and scroll- through your streaming application, playing Frank Ocean's _Self Control_.

You remember the first time you experience heartbreak with the previous person you were in love with. It was a warm summer afternoon, the sun was beginning to set, and the two of you are both walking around Kyoto, the uncomfortable silence choking the two of you from speaking. In a few days, you would move to Tokyo for college while the guy would stay, and both of you refused to talk about that. You know that what you are feeling for him is real, but you don't think he feels the same way. You click your tongue, feeling a twinge of pain in your chest, your hand hurriedly clenching your shirt and pressing your fists over the pain, soothing it down. You could sense the familiar feeling of homesickness, but you know it's not from Kyoto.

It's from a feeling.

An emotion. 

Screwing your eyes shut, you tried to push down the unpleasant memories in the depths of your mind. You don't want to remember what happened last summer, especially when that season only brought you pain and the lingering feeling of homesickness. You want to look forward to what you're going to do this summer. You hope it would be better, but you cannot seem to imagine the moment since a whole lot of workload is still ahead of you.

University life isn't going to be easier at this point.

The doorknob clicked, causing you to hurriedly stubbing the end of your cigarette on the railing. You peek through the inside of your apartment, witnessing Kuroo trudging forward, with exhaustion plastered all over his face. You pursed your lips before speaking, "Kuroo, your items were littered all over the place when I got home."

Kuroo sighed in response, removing his shoes by the doorway. "I know I'm the one who cleans up the apartment but could you please tidy up your stuff? I don't want to interfere with your things, y' know," you continued, hoping that you don't come across as rude. He shakes his head, "No, no. Sorry, you had to clean up my mess. I'm going to clean up tomorrow after practice. Please don't touch my stuff next time without my permission," he barely mustered, slouching his body on the chair. He tilted his head up, eyes fixated on the ceiling. He inhales a deep breath and his expression immediately darkens at the smell of the smoke permeating the air. "Have you been smoking again, [Surname]?" He asked, annoyance lacing his voice with a frown on his face. "Sorry, that's the last for tonight," you replied, returning to the balcony. Kuroo groaned in irritation, burying his face in his hands.

**_Thursday_ **

"You got us promo tickets?! How?!" Kuroo exclaimed through his phone pressed between his shoulder and ear.

 _"I'm sure you'd love to know but I have to keep that a secret, Kuroo-chan~"_ Oikawa sang on the other line, Kuroo could feel his finger wagging in the air teasingly. A tick mark formed on Kuroo's temple and was about to retort back until a voice spoke, _"He promised the girl on the movie tickets counter that he'll take her out on a date,"_ Yaku said, eliciting a loud laugh from Kuroo.

_"Yakkun! You promised that you won't tell him!"_

_"What? I never promised anything."_

_"Yakkun!!"_

Kuroo padded his way from the kitchen, leaving the pan that he used and his dirty dishes on the sink, and walked towards his wardrobe. "That's so mean, Oikawa-chan. Leading on an innocent girl for movie tickets. Lame~" he teased, pulling open his drawer and rummaging through his items. _"I did this for us! Since practice is moved till later afternoon, we might as well do something fun. If you don't want your fill then shut up!"_ Oikawa grumbled. Kuroo chuckled, standing to his feet and opening the closet doors, scouring through his rack of clothes. "I was just teasing! Calm down!" He snickered, pulling out several jackets from the rack. _"Mmm, whatever! Hurry up, you annoying, Kuroo-chan!"_ Oikawa huffed. "Sure, sure. I'm just getting some clothes that would match me, you know girls love a man who thinks through his outfit," Kuroo sneered, pulling out a black Adidas tee. _"Kuroo-chan! Just get your ass over here before we leave you!"_

"Alright, alright! Geez. It's sweltering outside, but the forecast today says it's gonna rain. Climate change is whack," he said, removing the red shirt he was wearing and tossing it over the floor, wearing his black Adidas tee. He grabbed a random jacket from the pile he pulled out from and raced out of the apartment.

_"I'm gonna hang up, fuck you."_

"Hello? Oikawa-chan? Hello? Aw, I didn't get to say 'it's such an honor.'"

_**Seiwa Park, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

Gray clouds painted over the skies, the trees seemed washed-out from color, and the small playground in the middle of the park was lifeless. Because of the threatening rainfall, no one dared to sit outside and hang out in the park. No life forms could be sighted, people who passed by the park was rushing to get home, except for one. 

The dull colors that the weather today seemed to reflect your feelings. With no one at sight, you sit by the edge of the metal slide, your feet propped up on the ground, and your elbows resting on your knees. In between your fingers is a white cigarette stick and on the other hand, your test paper from today's General Sociology quiz. Despite the signs that were plastered all over the park about no smoking, you continued anyway, since no one was there to scold you. You didn't even bother the prying eyes that pass by the park, not caring if an individual that happened to pass by is acquaintances with your mother. 

You sighed, tightening your grip on the test paper. This scenario is getting old, you think. How many tests have you failed by now? How many aftermaths of those failures have occurred already? How many promises that you will do better on the next exam has been broken? You grunted, losing count of your failure streak. You feel the signs of burnout creeping into your system. Contemplating on how you managed to fail another quiz when you were sure you understood every sentence of the material that was given to you. How could your memory just not work on your favor?

_The once gifted child now facing immense failure issues and burnout._

You scoffed to yourself in pity, placing the cigarette between your lips, inhaling the drug. You glance up at the murky sky, pulling out the cancer stick, and huffing out the smoke, "This is shameful," you muttered to yourself. A drop of water fell to your cheek, your furrowed your brows, and leveled your head, placing your fingers over the wet spot. Another drop of water fell to your shoulder, followed by another on your knee until it begins to pour. The rain killed the fire from your cigarette, making you immensely drenched. Your hand reached out to the pocket of your backpack, struggling to pull out your umbrella. Once you managed to pull it out, you stood to your feet and opened the umbrella, although seemingly useless by now since you were almost soaked if it weren't for the trees partly covering your figure. You sighed, tossing the cigarette out on a trash bin, and began trudging home.

Hoping that coming home would at least relieve you.

_**3rd floor, Mikazuki Apartment, Hongō, Bunkyō City, Tokyo** _

The person manning the apartment sent you a pitied look when you entered the apartment, dripping and a scowl evident on your face. You ignored him and headed straight towards your shared apartment, wanting to escape the problems that were piling up. As soon as you swing the door open to your room, tears pricked your eyes.

The room looked like it was ransacked. 

Clothes lay everywhere on the floor, dirty dishes are piling on the sink, Kuroo's futon isn't made, and the drawers and cabinet doors are hanging out. Inhaling a deep breath, you count up to 10, forcing yourself not to have a breakdown. You clicked your tongue in irritation and stomped your way towards the wardrobe, grabbing a fresh new set of clothes, and showering to at least calm yourself down.

It didn't work.

As soon as you hopped out of the shower, you picked everything up on the floor and tossed it on the hamper, without even doing a sniff test. You slammed close the drawer and wardrobe doors, scrubbed the dishes clean, and even made Kuroo's bed. You already told Kuroo to at least clean up his stuff yesterday, all he did was make it messier.

 _Is he mocking me?_ You thought, stomping your way to the balcony, and snatching your backpack on the floor. 

You tossed the bag on the floor and took out the cigarette box, taking a stick out and immediately lighting it with the lighter that your upperclassman has given to you. You shakily inhale the drug, your eyes gazing towards the pouring sky. It was a mistake going to the University of Tokyo, you thought. You begin to contemplate the decisions that you made, wondering that if you would've made a different one, would you be better? You shake your head, _no_ , _the reality is the only outcome there is._

As you continued getting lost in the soft pitter-patter of the rain and the sight of the darkening sky, a click on the door echoed on the apartment walls. You didn't bother looking. 

Kuroo entered the apartment, placing his umbrella on the sink, and removing his shoes by the doorway. He sighed in relief since he managed to be dry despite the heavy pour outside. His thoughts were interrupted when he caught the scent of cigarette smoke filling the apartment. He furrowed his brows in annoyance, pressing the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm down, and padded his way through the small expanse, going through his wardrobe.

He rummaged through his drawer, looking for a particular red shirt. "Oi, [Surname]!" He called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice, "Where did you put my red shirt? I tossed it over here earlier," he continued.

"I put it in your hamper," You replied in a flat tone, exhaling the smoke.

"What?" He stood to his feet, "That was still clean! I told you not to touch my stuff, [Surname]," he groaned, stomping his way to the bathroom, rummaging through his hamper. "And you even placed some clean clothes here! [Surname], what the hell?" He grunts as he pulls out the clothes that still smelled of fabric conditioner.

"I told you to clean up your stuff, man," you replied, your fingertips massaging your temple. "And I would have if you hadn't touched my stuff," he retorted, placing the clean clothes back to their hanger. "Yeah, but you didn't. You left this apartment a mess. I thought we were ransacked!" You replied, your anger getting the best of you, placing the cigarette back to your lips. You know that you shouldn't speak anymore, your words could end up hurting both of you. 

"Hell week is approaching and I don't have time to clean up," he huffed, rolling his eyes as he shut the cabinet doors closed, trying his best not to slam things in his way. The smell of the cigarette smoke stimulating his exasperation more, he stood in the middle of the room and pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, trying not to lash out on his roommate.

"But you had time to hang out with your friends today, is that it?" You taunted, pursing your lips to avoid letting out a shaky breath.

This night won't end well, you thought.

"Leave my friends out of this. I've been studying my ass off and I needed this break."

"Well then, thank _God_ that you've been blessed with good friends that have you through thick and thin, huh?" You mocked, pulling your cigarette back to your lips again. Kuroo rolled his eyes, "Then why don't you get some for yours too? Make sure they would clean up their mess even when they're stressed over college, don't 'ya?"

"Kuroo, understand that I'm stuck here living with you and that I cannot live under the condition that the house is messy! I'm stressed too but I won't be so careless!"

"Oh really?" Kuroo taunted, stomped towards the balcony, pulling the curtains to the side, his figure blocking the light from the inside, shadows casting over you. "Then quit your smoking, if you care so much about your well-being," he snarled, a brow raised mockingly. Your brows furrowed deeper, a frown painted on your face, "You don't know the reason why I'm smoking. Leave that out of it."

"You told me yesterday that it would be your last stick! The smell is _revolting_ , [Surname]."

"Hell week is approaching, Kuroo. You said it yourself!" You exclaimed, standing up from your seat, an accusatory finger pointing at him.

"Oh my God, my _mess_ could barely harm you. Your smoking could kill me as well, think about that," he said, padding his way to the other side of the room, grabbing his umbrella from the sink. "Whatever, smoke all you want for all I care," he mumbled, slipping on his shoes. You turned your body facing Kuroo, your fists clenching to your sides, your blood is almost boiling, and reaching its tipping point.

"Are you serious? We're not going to talk about this like two mature adults?!" You exclaimed, stubbing the end of the cigarette at the wall across you, and letting it fall to the ground. Kuroo turned to you, narrowing his gaze at you, "Really? Are we going to talk about this like _two mature adults_ or are we going to lash out our anger on each other, huh?" He asked.

You blinked confusedly at his words, "[Surname] if you're failing, can you _please_ not fucking drag me into your mess? I've had a fair share of stress from pre-med, and I'm struggling to get into the line up at the volleyball team. So please, spare me your bullshit. I've had enough stress from the university, can't you give me this?" He said, almost begging with his hands flailing across his torso in emphasis. 

Your breath catches in your throat, and eyes slightly widen at his words, and tears pricking the corners. "S-spare _you_ the bullshit?" You stammer, the creases between your brows deepening. Kuroo takes a step back at the sight of you stepping inside the room. The light exposing your features, your hair is still wet and clinging on your skin, fists clenched to your sides with dark bags circling under your eyes, and your pale chapped lips trembling in anger and frustration.

"W-Who patched you up when you burned your hand?" You muttered, shaking your head in disbelief, "Who helped you with your reading material on your General Sociology class? Who helped you pass that exam? When I couldn't even pass a _single_ quiz from that damn subject and that's even _my_ major!" You choked, a tear escaping your eye, the back of your hand frantically wiping it off. You pointed an accusatory finger at him, "Don't you dare have the balls to call me a fucking failure when all this time I'm trying my best to save you from being a failure like me too," you inhaled, calming down your pacing heart.

"I already know that I'm a failure, Kuroo. I don't need to hear it from others," you whispered, your voice cracking and almost pleadingly, your eyes darted to the side, unable to face your roommate. 

Instead of giving an empathic reply, he scoffed, "Unbelievable."

You whipped your head towards his direction, seeing him snicker mockingly at you, "You're seriously nagging me? At this point?" He sighed, "What, are you regretting that you chose me as your roommate now, huh?"

He wasn't expecting a reply. He didn't even mean asking that. He should've left when he had the chance.

"Actually, I do, Kuroo. I regret having you as my roommate," you replied, your tone firm. Kuroo blinked at your words, startled that you told him the truth. He heaved a breath, shaking his head before leaving the apartment, slowly closing the door behind him. 

You did what you were told, taking out a new cigarette stick, and lighting it up between your lips with tears pricking your eyes. A heavy feeling settled in your chest, and a few tears spilled, wiping it with the back of your hand.

**Author's Note:**

> © kai  
> Kuroo Tetsurou & Haikyuu!! belongs to Haruichi Furudate
> 
> Published on AO3: 5/26/2020  
> Crossposted on Quotev.
> 
> This version is edited and on the second person's point of view rather than the one on Quotev, but Quotev's version is more updated on the chapters.  
> Quotev: amerrickankai


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